Search Results for: satan
Manson Claims He Used Cell Phone to Call Satan
Authorities at Corcoran State Prison in Corcoran, California recently found a cell phone under inmate Charles Manson’s pillow. When confronted, Manson claimed that he didn’t even know what the hell the thing was and said someone must have planted it…
Steinbrenner Options Satan for Minor Mephistopheles to be Named Later
HELL (GlossyNews) — Word comes via famed psychic John Edwards, that legendary sports icon George Steinbrenner has not gone ‘gentle into that good night.’ Other sources confirm Edwards’ assertions. The former Yankees owner has discharged Satan from any further managerial…
Mix-up in Hell Has Satan Sending More than One Anti-Christ to Earth
HOLLISTER, California (GLossyNews) — Satan is said to be madder than hell at his minions this week after he learned that more than one, and possibly as many as eight Anti-Christs have been unleashed upon the Earth during the past…
Satan is Suing His Insurance Company
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. This guy claiming to be the Devil phones and asks that we interview him. Turns out Satan doesn’t look a bit like I imagined. He’s kinda hot really. He looks…
Banks Foreclose on Hell — Satan Moves to Scientology Headquarters
Sarasota, Fla (GlossyNews) — Markets around the world were rocked today with news of the imminent foreclosure on Hell by a consortium of major international banks. The announcement came only after months of failed negotiations between Satan and the Associated…
Dick Cheney Tapped to Fill Retiring Satan’s Seat
In a surprise move Sunday, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, announced his retirement citing that after thousands of years of initiating pestilence, wars, catastrophes and general mayhem, he was ready for a break. “The job wears you down.” the Great…
Dear Polly’s Guide For Guys Who Can’t Get a Date
(Lovelorn Neo-Nazis, Proud Boys ask advice columnist for help) Dear Polly: I like this girl but she won’t go out with me. Do you think she doesn’t like me because I l admire Adolf Hitler and how he tried to…
Welcome to Texafornia, A Modern Day Fable
Dr Seuss just might tell the modern-day fable of the great California angel-winged socialist migration to the land of the Great Satan, Texas, this way:Virtuous socialist rich folks, the Richies, who voted for the Wokie heehaws in magical California could…
Can Two-Ply Toilet Paper Save The World?
My wife and I decided to go for a drive in the country recently. It was such a beautiful day I decided to switch off the air conditioner and roll down the windows to let the wind blow through where…
ZANY UPSIDEDOWN WORLD of Margorie Taylor Greene
MTG here! MTG. You want me to spell it out for ya? Has the DEEP STATE shredded your brains? You BETTER know who I am! Oh, c’mon! I worked so long and hard for you and all the Don’t FUCK…