Author: Mark Wilt
TRUMP BLEATS VICTORY!
After escaping decapitation, King Donald twirled around his country like a crazed ballerina. He shrieked victory from town to town accompanied by Adam Schiff howling in a cage. Lord of the Stool Steve Miller administered electric shocks to the former…
Your Heart Needs an Overhaul But You Don’t Want Your Pockets Picked? Check This Out!
Do you need heart surgery but you blew your insurance premiums on liquor, loose women and lottery tickets? Save a whole lot of money and give a good hard kick to the establishment by putting your life in the hands of…
I was Hacked! ME! And I am Furious! Hot, Hot, HATE!
Someone spread messages under my Sacred Name soliciting money for a purported “neighbor kid” whose kidneys are crumbling. My real neighbor kid is a paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar overtones and a narcissistic bass line.
WTF?! SEVERAL States Now Allow BUS DRIVERS TO LEGALLY MARRY COUPLES!
Yes, you got it! Several states now allow bus drivers to legally marry couples! Ideally, the couple are passengers on the bus. However, the laws do make exceptions.
DANGER! MONEY! SEX! US Government Agency Has Immediate Need For An ISIS INFORMANT!
DANGER! MONEY! SEX! US Government Agency Has Immediate Need For An ISIS INFORMANT! No Experience Necessary! Will Train! Qualifications: Rudimentary knowledge of Islam. Former prison snitches highly desirable. Must have survived numerous attempts on life. Can endure countless hours of…
EMERGENCY ROOM! HELP ME! I’M DYING!
God cursed me with a heart condition. I have a good idea why, but if I tell you, I’ll have to kill myself. One dreadful symptom is shortness of breath (SOB). That and an adverse echocardiogram led my cardiologist to…