Author: Mark Wilt
THE GREAT EMANSTURBATOR
Donald Trump insists he has done more for African Americans than any other president. Read his tweet on the subject: “Many people don’t know this about me. Lincoln didn’t free the slaves. I DID. First thing I did behind the…
Phone Call Between Putin and Trump Regarding Value of American Lives
T: How much you paying them? P: $100,000 for each stinking American life. T: You’re shitting me. They’re not worth 2 cents. P: You pull my pud, Donny Boy – T: Feel good? Ha, ha! P: Hmmmmski… T: They’re SOLDIERS, for…
PASTORS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
NOTE TO READER: Recently, I had the following email exchange from a troubled minister of the Lord. He begged me not to reveal his identity. I solemnly vowed to honor his anonymity. His name is Reverend Jimmy Buttski from Swineberg,…
How to Remember Your Name
Other than being convicted of serial infant cannibalism, nothing is more embarrassing to an Older American than forgetting his own name. I attended last year’s Metropolitan Opera gala dressed as – like I’m supposed to remember? Wait… Richard Nixon? Soon…
THE PROPHET JESSE JESUS SOCK DELIVERS THE SERMON ON THE GARBAGE HEAP TO THE 21st CENTURY LOSER CULT
My name is Jesse Jesus Sock and I’m a prophet out of my own head. God lives inside my skull. Not your skull. Only mine. “Ain’t you the dude who predicted the end of World War II ten years after…
TRUMP NEWS CONFERENCE IN THE NEAR FUTURE
Good afternoon, vile, evil, smelly, ugly, evil, evil members of the third-rate reporters who should kill themselves in a disgusting horrible – the pussies should throw acid in their faces. Let’s forget the virus for now. So, so depressing although…
BREAKING NEWS! TRUMP LEARNS CORONAVIRUS ABC’S!”
As everyone knows, President Trump fails to grasp the danger of the coronavirus pandemic because nobody has bothered to explain it to him in ways he’ll understand.
TRUMP BLEATS VICTORY!
After escaping decapitation, King Donald twirled around his country like a crazed ballerina. He shrieked victory from town to town accompanied by Adam Schiff howling in a cage. Lord of the Stool Steve Miller administered electric shocks to the former…
Your Heart Needs an Overhaul But You Don’t Want Your Pockets Picked? Check This Out!
Do you need heart surgery but you blew your insurance premiums on liquor, loose women and lottery tickets? Save a whole lot of money and give a good hard kick to the establishment by putting your life in the hands of…
I was Hacked! ME! And I am Furious! Hot, Hot, HATE!
Someone spread messages under my Sacred Name soliciting money for a purported “neighbor kid” whose kidneys are crumbling. My real neighbor kid is a paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar overtones and a narcissistic bass line.