Author: Mark Wilt
I was Hacked! ME! And I am Furious! Hot, Hot, HATE!
Someone spread messages under my Sacred Name soliciting money for a purported “neighbor kid” whose kidneys are crumbling. My real neighbor kid is a paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar overtones and a narcissistic bass line.
WTF?! SEVERAL States Now Allow BUS DRIVERS TO LEGALLY MARRY COUPLES!
Yes, you got it! Several states now allow bus drivers to legally marry couples! Ideally, the couple are passengers on the bus. However, the laws do make exceptions.
DANGER! MONEY! SEX! US Government Agency Has Immediate Need For An ISIS INFORMANT!
DANGER! MONEY! SEX! US Government Agency Has Immediate Need For An ISIS INFORMANT! No Experience Necessary! Will Train! Qualifications: Rudimentary knowledge of Islam. Former prison snitches highly desirable. Must have survived numerous attempts on life. Can endure countless hours of…
EMERGENCY ROOM! HELP ME! I’M DYING!
God cursed me with a heart condition. I have a good idea why, but if I tell you, I’ll have to kill myself. One dreadful symptom is shortness of breath (SOB). That and an adverse echocardiogram led my cardiologist to…
Lordy, Lordy, Was I a Terrible Waiter! (But My CUSTOMERS Were WORSE!!!!!!)
Why did you choose the restaurant where I worked at that particular time? A few seconds earlier or later, you would have been safe. But Fate dropped the piano on your head, and you drew me as your waiter. You…
CREEPY STUFF! Nunes Accuses Democrats of Wanting Nude Picture
As a Democrat, I am proud of my collection of presidents posing in the nude. Up until 1850 or so, the pictures were oil paintings, except for a racy sculpture of Andrew Jackson beating his wife. I suppose I’ll need…