Category: Society
Giganti-Baby May Be Sumo Prodigy by Age Three
Lei Lei, named phonetically after the famous Lay’s potato chips, was a large baby when born, but not extraordinarily large according to his petite Chinese mother. However, ever since his birth, he’s been eating anything and everything in sight, and…
‘Hokey-Pokey’ Songwriter Laid to Rest in Simple Ceremony
CLINTON, Missouri (GlossyNews) — With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person who gave the world fun and togetherness for over 50…
Newsweek Purchased by Finnish Tourism Dept for $1
Finland, that land of perpetual daytime, when it isn’t night 24 hours a day — known for snow, reindeer, hot tubs, saunas and, I guess, other things, was in the news this last week. In a story that barely made…
Anti-Islamic Hackers Alter GPS Script to Divert Mecca-Bound Prayers
JAKARTA Indonesia (GlossyNews) — At the insistence of Muslim holy leaders in the Saudi Arabian city of Mecca, an incredibly accurate new GPS tracking system will be installed to thwart anti-Islamic hackers who have recently been caught attempting to alter…
Boston Rave “Mystery Pills” Found to be Bathtub Sponge Toys
Last Saturday, over a dozen “rave” party-goers were taken to hospital in the Boston suburb of Cambridge. The ostensible culprit was “bad ecstasy”, but the pills, sold for $25 to $35 each, turned out to be nothing more than novelty…
Chief Standing Wolf Takes on Rush Limbaugh After ‘Injuns’ Comment
FORT APACHE, Arizona (Glossy News) — Watch out Rush Limbaugh. Chief Standing Wolf, who earlier this year made certain promises to rid Arizona of non-Native Americans if they didn’t repeal their white man laws allowing only English-speaking people in their…
Non-Racist Tea Party Holds Rally on Mexico-Arizona Border
NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more…
Man Stumped Over Penis Mishap
FALLS TOWNSHIP, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — Court documents released today revealed startling accusations from a Philadelphia area stock broker’s lawsuit against a nationally known erectile dysfunction clinic for their alleged amputation of both the plaintiff’s legs in a botched attempt to…
Forget Doomsday Prophecies; Beer Prices are Skyrocketing
SOMEWHERE, USA (GlossyNews) — Another Friday the 13th came and went without incident. It’s as if the Universe doesn’t take itself seriously anymore. Mars can run retrograde and Saturn can be humping Venus (relatively speaking of course) and still life…
Insurance Companies Market ‘Do-It-Yourself’ Medical Options
WASHINGTON, DC (GlossyNews) — In a move sure to restart the nation’s divisive healthcare debate, major insurance companies announced new healthcare plans featuring controversial “self-serve” medical options designed to reduce costs. “Our new self-serve options for childbirth, surgery and annual…