Month: March 2013
Google Search For ‘Oscar Pistorius Murder Trial’ Evolves Into ‘Reeva Steenkamp Topless’
INDIANAPOLIS – During a routine navigation of the internet Friday, a local man’s Google search for the keywords “Oscar Pistorius murder trial” evolved over the course of 7 minutes into “Reeva Steenkamp Topless.” Initially looking to gain up-to-the-minute news on…
College Basketball Players Still Waiting on Endorsement Deals
College Basketball is great, no two ways about it. It has as much competitive spirit as any sport, athletes who will be in the big time in no time, and everything else you’d want… except compensation. John Calipari, coach at…
CPAC 2013 Ended and So Didn’t Their Movement
Closing out of the 2013 CPAC (Conservative People Acting Crazy) conference has left many on the right feeling less than exhilarated. Their ideals, thoughts, and policies that no longer align with changes in society have once again left them opposed…
Area Control Freak Reports OCD Under Control
Don’t worry everybody–world-wide* acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/self-editor/self-writer/self-artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control. Apparently, he’s organized everything into a master calendar.
Justin Bieber Dead, Reports Twitter User JoshuaDJ22
NEW YORK, NY – Canadian pop-star and school kid Justin Bieber was tragically killed today when a truck driver accidentally ran over the star in downtown New York, reports bored Twitter user @JoshuaDJ22. In a 120-character post, @JoshuaDJ22 announced that…
How to get rid of enemies and excess allies
Yesterday’s report in the Los Angeles Times about the U.S. plan to rid itself of uncomfortable allies in Syria illustrates once again that drones are the answer to almost any problem. This is because – except for tsunamis and volcanoes…
Housewife becomes Batman-like
A WOMAN has been arrested after she became ‘ninja-like’ and ‘overly mysterious’ while making dinner to the Batman soundtrack. Emergency services received a distress call from a very panicked husband at a home in suburban Seattle at around 5:45pm yesterday…
Wild West, Non-Wisconsin Weinie Winters
Anyone who has spent any time in Colorado or any western ski resort areas has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living there (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by ‘high density’ I am referring to…
American Team Favored to Win 2013 World Series
ST. LOUIS – The St. Louis Cardinals made history Friday when they became the 104th American team to win the World Series. With their 6-2 victory over the Texas Rangers in game 7, The Cardinals extended the United States’ formidable…
Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life
A SATIRE writer has become jaded after working on a ‘real’ newspaper. The satire writer, who can not be named because I don’t want to, has revealed to Glossy News that she, erm… that she, or he, has found it…