Categorized | Books, Newspapers & Misc

Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life

Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life

A SATIRE writer has become jaded after working on a ‘real’ newspaper.

The satire writer, who can not be named because I don’t want to, has revealed to Glossy News that she, erm… that she, or he, has found it increasingly difficult to write satire after their experience in a newsroom.

The writer said: “When I write satire, I often do so from my soapbox, which I sit on, alone, in the dark.

“It usually results in me mindlessly watching the TV or laughing at Internet memes, but after six hours my eyes get tired so I just write something stupid and call it satire.

“But my whole perspective on life has changed ever since I did some work at a proper newspaper.”

The anonymous writer says that they could not believe the stories that were news worthy and has subsequently found it difficult to write anything meaningful, the writer said: “I began to question everything, the price of cheese, why a cat on the train tracks is news, why blue is blue, my existence, everything.

“What place in this world do I have as a writer of satire, making up convoluted, bizarre scenarios, when out there, in the ‘real’ world, they were already happening and being written about?”

The writer pointed to examples of their work that had been written a few months, or in some cases, days, before actual similar events took place: “A good example would be when I wrote about hobos being government spies who were placed to track down minor crimes, turns out it is totally true, I read it in a newspaper.

“There was also the time I wrote about celebrity women being so unnatural that they were actually from an alternate reality. Yesterday I read a report in the newsroom that they are actually aliens sent here to slowly ebb away at our sense of decency and self esteem.”

Asked if they would return to satire, the writer said: “Screw it, I am through with all this, it is getting scary how close to reality satire can be. They say ‘you can’t make it up’, well they are right and that puts me out of a job.”

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- who has written 55 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Jack of all trades, master of none.

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5 Responses to “Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life”

  1. Barb Weir says:

    Thank you, Bee, for telling our story. As you know, I’m fictional and one of the founding members of the Fictional Artists Collective Union (FAC U). Nevertheless, I get taken seriously and my pieces have even been referenced in serious journalism.

    What does that tell you? People can’t tell the difference and reality is as absurd as fiction. We’re all going to have to work hard to achieve a higher level of absurdity.

  2. Skoob1999 says:

    Ha! Me too. So funny how the mighty have fallen!

  3. Bee says:

    I have worked on real news now for over a year and you literally can not make it up. You think that it is a crazy idea, but funny for pointing out hypocrisy of poking fun at the establishment but it will have totally already happened. Or at least, someone will be willing to believe it has.

  4. P. Beckert says:

    Bee, good to see you come back once in a while and visit. We miss your “unreal” stories.

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