Housewife becomes Batman-like

A WOMAN has been arrested after she became ‘ninja-like’ and ‘overly mysterious’ while making dinner to the Batman soundtrack.

Emergency services received a distress call from a very panicked husband at a home in suburban Seattle at around 5:45pm yesterday saying that his wife was going ‘crazy’ whispering with intent “I am Housemom” and chopping vegetables in an aggressive manner.

The woman was later forced out of her home by six officers, screaming “To overcome dinner, you must become dinner” to the horror of on looking neighbours.

It is believed that the woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, came home from the store after the school run as usual. It was after settling her two children to their homework that the woman, believed to be in her 30s and a full-time mom, put on the Batman The Dark Knight soundtrack while she set about making dinner.

Within moments the children were said to be stunned into silence as they watched their mother hack into a huge head of broccoli, which can now only be identified through DNA testing from the remains found scattered all over the family kitchen.

The woman’s husband is thought to have returned home at about 5:30 to find his children hiding under the dining table and his wife wearing a black bin bag doing unnecessary press-ups.

Police reports state that the woman was able to reprogram her microwave so that it now picks up and records every phone call within a two-mile radius and the ‘dinner’ she had made was in the shape of a bat.

Officer Nibor, who was the second officer on the scene, said: “I would like to say that I have never seen anything like it, but the sad truth is, I have.

“We often talk about young boys being influenced and brainwashed by rap music and heavy metal, but we never talk about the movie soundtracks.

“Just thank God that she wasn’t listening to the soundtrack to Sex in the City, things could have been a lot worse.”

It is understood that the women was later released without charge.

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