E-Z Home Water Boarding Kit a Favorite w/ Parents This Season

Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com)

The amazing E-Z Home Waterboarding Kit has broken all sales records as parents across the US snapped up a kit for their personal use at home.

Children and teens everywhere are now easily spilling the beans about where they’ve been and who they’ve been with, as the easy-to-use waterboard is put to daily use in millions of US homes.

PHOTO INSERT: Twins Russel (l) and Andy (r) Bratstead, age 14, thought they could lie themselves out of a situation concerning a neighbor’s cat, some gasoline, and a dozen firecrackers. But, in under 10 minutes of the E-Z Water Boarding procedure Russel was singing like a bird. Unfortunetely, Andy succumbed to drowning before confessing.

Little Danny Klump, age 15, tells of how he confessed to wanking off every afternoon onto his teacher’s new Buick parked in the school parking lot. “Look, I had to tell, I mean, It was so much water I couldn’t catch my breath!”

Amy Lostrum, age 16, had a similar tale, “I confessed after about half an hour. I’ll never doctor my report card again! Ever!”

School administrators have noticed a sharp decrease in sass-back talk and bullying from students of all ages. Even tardiness has become a thing of the past claims Edison School District Administrator Barry Whippet.

The kit, sold on a popular auction website, is priced at $15.00 and has a complete set of instructions including a booklet of popular questions that the user can ask. So far, there has been over two million kits sold and orders are still flooding in.

The E-Z Waterboarding Kit was invented by Delbert C. Wasserman in 1976 after finding a used bong, a bag of pot, and rolling papers under his 17 year old son’s bed. His son, Delbet jr, emphatically denied it was his, claiming the stash of paraphenalia on ‘the tooth fairy’s carelessness’ from the night before. Mr. Wasserman’s use of a water hose and an ironing board brought quick results in his search for truth from his son and later sold the concept to another Texas investor.

Author: Bargis Tryhol

Hello, I'm Bargis Tryhol and currently live somewhere in the southern part of the USA. I have been writing humor for quite a few years and love to make fun of the liberals who in recent years seem to be falling by the wayside in droves. My online following is fairly large now, so a big 'shout out' to all who have embraced my lopsided humor. I do appreciate the support. You can visit my website Satire World for more outrageous humor.... SatireWorld.com Comments or retribution? Bargistryhol@aol.com

5 thoughts on “E-Z Home Water Boarding Kit a Favorite w/ Parents This Season

  1. I will buy this… for Sean Hannity. He swore that waterboarding isn’t torture, and he was so adamant that he said he would agree to undergo waterboarding himself… but to date, no such event.

    Pay-per-view, folks, it’s the only way to really enjoy it. Sure it will last less time than a post-prison-release Tyson fight, but that’s the whole point of torture, isn’t it?

  2. I like the article and would like to get the kit. There are a few charges on my account that are still “sketchy”. Sorry Mitt!

  3. I’d water board my lawn guy first. Just blaming the cracked bird bath on a really, really heavy bird has left me suspicious about him and his telling the truth.

    Then, after that I’d waterboard Nickfun and see what he’s says….Might get a great story idea!

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