Posted in Kidz Zone Television

Glenn Beck to Develop Children’s Show on Fox

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — In an effort to reel in kiddies as early as they are able to watch television, the Fox Channel has begun the process of developing a Saturday morning kids’ show featuring Glenn Beck, invoking a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Biz News Politics

Fox Analyst Reverses Opinion About Recession After Losing Job

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — A former Fox News economic analyst, who only last year said the worst part of the recession was over, is coming under fire from liberals for now claiming the economy is worse than ever. When…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Sports

March Madness: Entire Basketball Team Really Goes Mad

Indianapolis, IN (GlossyNews) — Stunned NCAA officials are scrambling this afternoon as they attempt to deal with 16 stark raving mad college basketball players running amok across downtown Indianapolis.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in News In Your Briefs

McDonald’s Happy Meal a Day Can Prolong Life of Your Body

Denver, CO – A nutritionist, bent on taking McDonald’s down for its unhealthy practice of dishing up preservative-laden foods to the general public, has now admitted that although there are enough preservatives in a McDonald’s bun alone to allow it…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in World News

Documents Show Auschwitz Death Camp Doctors Living on Food Stamps

WARSAW, Poland (GlossyNews) — Archaeologists working to better understand the reign of Hitler and his Third Reich have discovered food coupons for some of the notorious SS doctors at the Auschwitz death camp, including the sadistic Dr. Joseph Mengele.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Thank You Very Much, See You in Hell

The phrase “Thank you very much, see you in hell,” is becoming as popular as “Thank you, come again” at some Middle Eastern-run convenience stores across America. TYVMSYH signs are being displayed above the licenses of most of the stores,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Crime

Cookie Monster Robs Girl Scouts: Three dead

Detroit, MI (GlossyNews) — In what was considered shocking, even by Detroit standards, the beloved blue Sesame Street character today staged a bloody robbery at a suburban strip mall. No Girl Scouts were injured, but three shoppers were killed in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Biz News

Apple’s Jerry York Dies: Replaced by Jerry Sargent

CUPERTINO, CA (GlossyNews) — Jerry York, Apple director and long-time adviser to billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian, has died. Sources at Apple Inc broke the news on Thursday. York joined Apple’s board of directors in 1997, a time when most consumers…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Biz News

“My Little Pony” Chewy Fruit Snacks Found to Contain Horse Meat

MINNEAPOLIS, MN (GlossyNews) – Shock and horror were rampant in the children’s snack market this morning as the word spread that the popular “My Little Pony” fruit snacks contained elements of actual pony. The discovery was apparently made during an…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics World News

U.S. Supports North Korea’s Execution of Official Who Ruined Economy

PYONGYANG, North Korea (GlossyNews) — During a time when brewing unrest and financial insolvency are destabilizing the country, North Korean officials have executed Labor Party Chief Pak Nam-ki before a firing squad as punishment for a bureaucratic blunder.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Rhode Island Announces Plans to Secede from Union, Align with Zanzibar

Providence, RI (GlossyNews) Finally fed up with being classified as the America’s smallest state and with the perceived lack of respect accompanying that classification, teeny, weeny Rhode Island announced plans today to sever ties with the other 49 states. With…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Senator Caught in “Affair of the Heart” with Neighbor’s Doberman

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Anonymous sources are alleging that a prominent but unnamed United States senator is engaged in an intensely emotional relationship with his next door neighbor’s Doberman Pinscher. “It’s only a matter of time before the tabloids get…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Kidz Zone Strange People

Kansas Dad Somehow Lifts Car Off 6-Year-Old Girl

SHAWNEE, KS (GlossyNews) — A Kansas mother is praising neighbor Nick Harris as “Superman” after her six-year-old daughter described how Harris found the strength to lift a car off her. The girl escaped with minor injuries after she was pinned…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Top Stories

Recession Forces Upper Class to Flirt with Mediocrity

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — The recent economic downturn has delivered ubiquitous plight across America, but no other group has been as dramatically affected as the upper class. This was readily apparent by watching patrons exit one of New York’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!