Posted in War Zone World News

Snubbed the Cast of “Jersey Shore,” Kim Jong Il Attacks S. Korea

SEOUL, South Korea — Fourteen South Korean Marines and two South Korean civilians were injured after North Korea fired dozens of shells at a South Korean border island on Monday. The attack comes only days after it was discovered that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Snubbed the Cast of “Jersey Shore,” Kim Jong Il Attacks S. Korea
Posted in Human Interest Politics

TSA Screener Detects Testicular Cancer in Traveler, Saves Life.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. — Ceremonies will be held today in honor of William Fallopian, a local San Narciso boy turned hero. Fallopian, son of Mike Fallopian, a well known Yoyodyne executive and chairman of the Peter Pinguid Society, works for…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! TSA Screener Detects Testicular Cancer in Traveler, Saves Life.
Posted in Politics Travel

TSA Groping Incident Attracts New Employees to Agency

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Glossy News) — Since the recent incident between Southern California resident John Tyner and the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), which involved the now infamous “groping” scandal, travelers are debating whether to continue moving about the Land of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! TSA Groping Incident Attracts New Employees to Agency
Posted in Health Politics

Obama Food Program Threatens Bush Weight Loss Policies

WASHINGTON, D.C (GlossyNews) — Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research. Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Food Program Threatens Bush Weight Loss Policies
Posted in News In Your Briefs

The Comic Book of Anne Frank

AMSTERDAM (GlossyNews) — The Anne Frank House Museum, hoping to bring the lesson of Frank’s life and death to a new base of readers, launched the publication of the historic diary as a comic book. Spokeswoman Annemarie Bekker said the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Comic Book of Anne Frank
Posted in Society

Hollister Co Sues Hollister, CA Again – This Time For Bedbug Infestation

HOLLISTER, Calif. (GlossyNews) — Residents of Hollister, Calif. may find themselves on the wrong side of yet another lawsuit by clothing giant Hollister Co after bedbugs were discovered in Hollister Co’s SoHo store in New York. While the source of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollister Co Sues Hollister, CA Again – This Time For Bedbug Infestation
Posted in World News

Miners in Ghana Feared Dead or Taking Dives to Protest Working Conditions

ACCRA, Ghana (GlossyNews) — According to local officials in Ghana, at least 32 miners from Dunkwa Akyempim are feared dead after the gold mine they were working in collapsed from torrential rains. Although the accident occurred on Sunday, rescue efforts…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Miners in Ghana Feared Dead or Taking Dives to Protest Working Conditions
Posted in Politics

Sen. Byrd’s Death Ruled Bizarre Act of Self Mutilation

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — West Virginia Sen. Robert Carlyle Byrd, the longest-serving member of Congress and the self-educated son of a coal miner, died Monday at age 92. Byrd was born Cornelius Calvin Sale Jr. on November 20, 1917, in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sen. Byrd’s Death Ruled Bizarre Act of Self Mutilation
Posted in Biz News Environment

BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat

CHALMETTE, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Add abysmal stock prices to the $20 billion escrow fund and BP’s existing $2.35 billion clean up tab, and you begin to realize how quickly deep pockets grow shallow. The Deep Horizon oil spill in the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat
Posted in Environment Politics

Dick Cheney to Form GOP Apology Task Force

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Texas Representative Joe Barton’s strange apology to BP CEO Tony Hayward for the government imposed $20 billion escrow account to repay damages caused by the Deep Horizon oil spill continues to spark controversy. The ill-fated gaffe…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dick Cheney to Form GOP Apology Task Force
Posted in World News

Greece Accidentally Receives Loan for Musical

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — On May 18, 2010, the economically embattled country of Greece received 14.5 billion euros ($17.9 billion USD) in aid from what Greek bankers presumed to be the European Union. A banking official close to orchestrating…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Greece Accidentally Receives Loan for Musical
Posted in Entertainment Music

Bono Undergoes Emergency Back Surgery for ‘Atlas Syndrome’

MUNICH, Germany (GlossyNews) — U2 front man Bono underwent emergency back surgery on May 21, 2010, while preparing for the American leg of the band’s “360 Degree” international tour. U2, having sold an estimated 150 million records, is arguably the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bono Undergoes Emergency Back Surgery for ‘Atlas Syndrome’
Posted in Biz News Politics

Former Hollister Co. Executive Shot Dead by Arizona Police

NOGALES, AZ (GlossyNews) — The Southern California headquarters of Abercrombie & Fitch, which owns the Hollister brand, issued a statement today confirming the death of a controversial former executive. Hugh Humbert-Lardwick, a regional vice president from the United Kingdom, made…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Former Hollister Co. Executive Shot Dead by Arizona Police
Posted in Television

‘Survivor’ Producer’s Wife Voted Off Planet

MEXICO CITY, Mexico (GlossyNews) — Emmy nominated reality television producer Bruce Beresford-Redman has been detained as a suspect in the killing of Monica Beresford-Redman, his wife. According to officials in Cancun, the body of Monica Beresford-Redman was found in a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ‘Survivor’ Producer’s Wife Voted Off Planet
Posted in Politics

LEGO City Mayor Implicated in Sex Scandal

LEGO CITY, U.S.A. (GlossyNews) — Since its founding in 1978, Lego City has suffered through a history of controversial expansion, interminable redevelopment and what most residents consider “pure chaos.” Accusations of illicit gerrymandering — executed through back door political favors…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! LEGO City Mayor Implicated in Sex Scandal
Posted in Technology

Foursquare Survivor Badge Accidentally Awarded to Hundreds of ‘Unworthies’

AUSTIN, TX (GlossyNews) — Around 12:40 p.m. EST on March 22, the coveted Foursquare Survivor badge was awarded to hundreds of people simultaneously. Event organizers attributed the mass distribution to a glitch. Traditionally, the Foursquare staff have been very secretive…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Foursquare Survivor Badge Accidentally Awarded to Hundreds of ‘Unworthies’
Posted in Human Interest

James Randi Announces He’s Gay — Proving Psychics Don’t Exist

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL (GlossyNews) — James Randi, the renown 81-year-old skeptic, has escaped from the closet after keeping his sexuality a secret for more than 70 years. Randi, formerly known as The Amazing Randi, began his career in Canada as…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! James Randi Announces He’s Gay — Proving Psychics Don’t Exist
Posted in World News

Documents Show Auschwitz Death Camp Doctors Living on Food Stamps

WARSAW, Poland (GlossyNews) — Archaeologists working to better understand the reign of Hitler and his Third Reich have discovered food coupons for some of the notorious SS doctors at the Auschwitz death camp, including the sadistic Dr. Joseph Mengele. FIGHT…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Documents Show Auschwitz Death Camp Doctors Living on Food Stamps
Posted in Biz News

Apple’s Jerry York Dies: Replaced by Jerry Sargent

CUPERTINO, CA (GlossyNews) — Jerry York, Apple director and long-time adviser to billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian, has died. Sources at Apple Inc broke the news on Thursday. York joined Apple’s board of directors in 1997, a time when most consumers…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Apple’s Jerry York Dies: Replaced by Jerry Sargent
Posted in Politics World News

U.S. Supports North Korea’s Execution of Official Who Ruined Economy

PYONGYANG, North Korea (GlossyNews) — During a time when brewing unrest and financial insolvency are destabilizing the country, North Korean officials have executed Labor Party Chief Pak Nam-ki before a firing squad as punishment for a bureaucratic blunder. FIGHT THE…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! U.S. Supports North Korea’s Execution of Official Who Ruined Economy
Posted in Kidz Zone Strange People

Kansas Dad Somehow Lifts Car Off 6-Year-Old Girl

SHAWNEE, KS (GlossyNews) — A Kansas mother is praising neighbor Nick Harris as “Superman” after her six-year-old daughter described how Harris found the strength to lift a car off her. The girl escaped with minor injuries after she was pinned…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kansas Dad Somehow Lifts Car Off 6-Year-Old Girl
Posted in Biz News Music

Walmart Pulls “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” Over Missing Drum Stick

TEXARKANA, TX (GlossyNews) — Thousands of angry fans flooded the phone lines and email servers of MTV/Electronic Arts and its retailers with complaints over today’s release of the eagerly anticipated “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” game. The issue stems…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Walmart Pulls “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” Over Missing Drum Stick
Posted in Crime Kidz Zone

Three-Year-Old Shoots Father: “Purple Dinosaur Told Me To”

ANAHEIM, CA (GlossyNews) — On March 17, 2010, a three-year-old boy shot his father, an LAPD officer, with a service revolver. The shooting occurred in the family’s pickup truck at a traffic stop in Anaheim. Investigators are still trying to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Three-Year-Old Shoots Father: “Purple Dinosaur Told Me To”
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Famed Aviator Capt. Clarence Oveur Dead at 83

POMONA, CA (GlossyNews) — Captain Clarence Oveur, an aviation legend, has died of a heart attack. He was 83. Oveur was one of the heroes responsible for the successful landing of distressed Trans American flight 209 to Chicago in 1980….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Famed Aviator Capt. Clarence Oveur Dead at 83
Posted in Crime

Mystery Man Wanted for Questioning in Slaying of Model

MIAMI, FL (GlossyNews) — Police in Miami have released a sketch of a suspect wanted for questioning in the case of a local model found burned inside a trash bin. The 26-year-old African American model was found last month; police…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mystery Man Wanted for Questioning in Slaying of Model
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Lindsay Sues Lohan for Suing E-Trade Over Commercial

LOS ANGELES, CA (GlossyNews) — Troubled 23-year-old celebrity Lindsay Lohan has filed a lawsuit against E-Trade for allegedly using her name in its latest commercial about a boyfriend-stealing baby with a substance abuse problem. The substance in question being milk….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Lindsay Sues Lohan for Suing E-Trade Over Commercial
Posted in Education

Texas Conservatives Vote to Make Textbooks “Right”

AUSTIN, TX (GlossyNews) — Despite the ongoing efforts of educators to create national standards for public schools, the Texas school board has seceded from the debate by proposing sweeping changes to its social studies curriculum that would highlight the underrated…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Texas Conservatives Vote to Make Textbooks “Right”
Posted in Politics

Ethics Committee Investigation Finds Rep. Eric Massa “Icky”

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — Former New York Representative Eric Massa admitted to groping male staff members, but claims that he never behaved in a sexually inappropriate manner. Massa, age 50, went a step further and told reporters that he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ethics Committee Investigation Finds Rep. Eric Massa “Icky”
Posted in Music

The Smiths Reunite After 23 Years for New Album

LONDON, UK (GlossyNews) — Alternative music pioneers Morrissey and Johnny Marr, co-founders of The Smiths, have announced the long-awaited reunion of the band. The Smiths were an English rock group formed in Manchester in 1982, driven by the songwriting partnership…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Smiths Reunite After 23 Years for New Album
Posted in Strange People

The Picasso: Brutal Body Art Technique Gains Popularity in Prisons

CHINO, CA (GlossyNews) — It’s difficult to trace the origins of tattoos and similar body art — which Western societies often regard as a form of mutilation — primarily because tattoos transcend culture and geography. Tattooing has been a practice…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Picasso: Brutal Body Art Technique Gains Popularity in Prisons