Author: stuyv
Obama Inspires Oil Spill to Clean Itself Up
Smelly Corners, LA (GlossyNews) — President Barack Obama’s recent visit to the Gulf Coast was billed as a chance for the Commander in Chief to assess the damage caused by the massive oil spill, but a top White House aid…
Homeless “Hippie” and Dogs Arrested for Selling Marijuana to Teens
Venice Beach, CA (GlossyNews) — A local homeless man arrested yesterday has been charged with grand theft auto and selling marijuana to minors, according to police. Shaggy Rogers, known only as “Shaggy” on the street, was arrested after propositioning an undercover…
Comedy Central Censors Own Press Release About South Park Censoring
Dothan, Al (GlossyNews) — After a week of controversy surrounding the censorship of an episode of the animated series South Park for mentioning the Prophet Muhammad, Comedy Central announced today it would also be censoring it’s own press release on the subject. A spokesman for…
Michael Moore Added to Supreme Court List to Spite Conservatives
Chicago, IL (GlossyNews) Both critics and supporters of President Obama are expressing equal measures of dismay by a recent announcement that liberal filmmaker Michael Moore is on the short list to replace Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. Justice Stevens…
New York Governor Plans to Make You Pay to Poop
New York, NY 10017 (GlossyNews) — At a press this morning, Governor David Paterson unveiled a drastic overhaul to the operation of New York public restrooms meant to reign in spending and generate new revenue for the debt ridden state. “I’ve pretty much cut every…
Fox Un-cancels “24” Amid Rumors of Threats from Sutherland
An Undisclosed Island in the Pacific Ocean (GlossyNews) — Only days after canceling the television series 24, Fox announced today that it had reversed it’s decision and decided to pick the show up for a ninth and final season. The announcement came just as…
Fox Analyst Reverses Opinion About Recession After Losing Job
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — A former Fox News economic analyst, who only last year said the worst part of the recession was over, is coming under fire from liberals for now claiming the economy is worse than ever. When…
Education Bill Overhaul: Bad Teachers Charged as Criminals
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — A controversial portion of President Obama’s newest education initiative has come under fire from the American Federation of Teachers, which claims the measure is not only unconstitutional but absurd. The provision in the President’s overhaul of…
Child Labor Ring Uncovered at JFK Airport
Queens, NY (GlossyNews) — One of the nation’s largest airports, JKF International, is being shut down temporarily while the FAA investigates allegations of an underground child labor ring being run through the New York location. This comes less than a…
Discount Abortion Coupons Threaten to Sink Health Care Bill
Washington D. C. (GlossyNews) — President Barack Obama’s purposed Health Care overhaul has encountered a new series of setbacks, after both Democrats and Republicans introduced additional provisions sure to tie the bill up in debate for some time to come.