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Craigslist Ad Looking for Master Catapult Builder

Craigslist Ad Looking for Master Catapult Builder

As recently seen on Austin Craigslist:

EXPERIENCED CATAPULT BUILDER (N. AUSTIN)

Date: 2010-03-26, 9:33PM CDT
Reply to: job-phthuttt-1639419@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Group of Investors looking for experienced carpenter to build over-sized catapult sturdy enough to fling Rush Limbaugh all the way to Costa Rica and help him make good on his promise to leave the country if the health care reform bill became law.

Top dollar will be paid for the best design submitted.

You build the catapult. We’ll take care of the logistics of getting Rush into the damn thing.

Job Posting: 1639419
Location: N Austin

Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job! Show up in person with tools and plans ready to start building immediately.

Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. This is a very specific job that may or may not require some degree of knowledge about rocket science.

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This post was written by

- who has written 456 posts on GlossyNews.com.

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

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17 Responses to “Craigslist Ad Looking for Master Catapult Builder”

  1. Steve Haynes says:

    I am willing to contribute to the cost of the machine after it has succesfully achieved it’s purpose. A bonus will be offered if it overshoots the island by a mile or two.

  2. P. Beckert says:

    Considering the size of the payload, that may be a stretch. ;-)

  3. Marc in Santa Cruz says:

    Steve: While your sentiment is worthy, Costa Rica isn’t an island. You may be thinking of Puerto Rico.

  4. yporat says:

    – I am expert in Nextel systems – I was part of the Motorola team that rolled out the Nextel system in Mexico – regarding your question, i love to deal with old war machines-I was trainer of Krav Maga in the Israeli army- With a name like Yosef Shevah Porat no one can’t miss.
    I am from Mexico and I don’t understand the government here – they don’t encourage the vale todo fighting – cage fighting. Very much politicos involved in that- take for example me the new power Yosef Shevah Porat – I can bring a lot of pride to the nation but the politicos wants to see only themselves in the noticias. Los politicos Son malos para nuesrta patria mexico.

    Yosef Shevah Porat
    Cage Fighting Martial Arts Mexico (10)
    http://www.ufc.com/

  5. bob says:

    ok, college math was a long time ago, but I did some math.

    First I had to make some assumptions:
    1) Rush weighs 300 lbs
    2) DC to Costa Rica is 2012 miles
    3) The world is flat, and he will have no wind resistance (makes the math easier).

    He would need to be propelled from DC at an angle of 45 degrees up, at a velocity of over 13,296 MPH.

    To siege engine in the photo is a Trebuchet. To propel his weight that distance would require a Trebuchet that is over 385ft tall. The Trebuchet uses a counterweight, think fat kid on a teeter totter tossing a little kid. In this example Rush is the little kid. The fat kid is the counterweight. To make him fly that far, the counterweight would have to weigh 330,693 tons.

    To give you an idea, of how much that weight is, That would be a line of hummers end to end that is 417.7 miles long.

    While I don’t doubt democrats desire to rid the US of Rush, I would think that the ecological implications of such a machine would be a little worse than his rantings.

  6. P. Beckert says:

    yeah, but it is possible, right?

  7. REO says:

    If a modern f2k treb design was utilized the counter weight would only need to be approx. 1/10th that of a traditionasl treb thus saving millions of dollars in construction which we would gladly accept as our bonus. Do we need to take into account the rotation of the earth? Also we would not be responsible if all the parts did not make it to desired target location due to the g forces on his body.

  8. MarkD says:

    You’ve got to be kidding??!!
    Have any of you ever even listened to Limbaugh? There is nothing that he has said that isn’t true. Before you all make complete asses out of yourselves by buying into what overly emotional crybabies spew out, you should research what he has said and you might learn something.
    Anyone can run off at the mouth trying to sound knowledgeable. But in this case you all have no idea what you are talking about. So save us the annoyance of your blithering idiosy by just shutting the hell up.
    Oh, by the way… Don’t you know when someone is bullshitting you about leaving the country? Quit believing everything you hear, and just think for yourselves! For crying out loud, you were the ones that believed Obama when he made all those claims and promises during his campaign. None of which he has lived up to. Can’t you see how he has played you for the fools that you are? Just think for yourselves and quit being led around like dumb sheep.

  9. Yeah, think for yourself and don’t be led around by wolves that are just trying to rile you up to take your hard earned cash out of your pocket. Listen to MarkD don’t let Limbaugh play YOU for a fool. Thanks Mark

    Oh, by the way Mark, try thinking for yourself for once and stop regurgitating the bullshit spewed forth from the media heads. It’s all about your money…

    ~Reverend Mike

  10. MarkD says:

    wolves taking money out of my pocket??!!
    It’s the dems that are leading us into bankrupcy. Get a clue… they even admit to being the party of tax and spend. Tax us and spend it on others who didn’t earn it. Read the congressional budget reports for the last 20 years. I have. It’s all right there if you just take the time to learn instead of deciding on an issue without all the facts.

  11. rfreed says:

    What was that about “Anyone can run off at the mouth trying to sound knowledgeable” ?

  12. MarkD says:

    Exactly what it says.
    There’s folks out there that think because they say a lot, that they know a lot.
    It’s as to say that “quantity does not equate to quality”

  13. If you can hinge yourself long enough, you might re think my comment which was that it is the MEDIA taking your money by pandering to your desire for more and more propaganda. I could give a shit about tax and spend, I’m a socialist.

    ~Reverend Mike

  14. Jeff Addiego says:

    This is typical Progressive(liberal)bull-shit.I’m not a big Limbaugh fan,but I do know he would never say he’d leave this country if healthcare became law.Show the quote,or the clip and I’ll believe
    he said it.you progressives make things up to fit your agenda.

  15. dagnabit says:

    Google “Limbaugh threatens to leave US” and you’ll find quite a few links not only to the quote but also to the video. Yeah, I know, he really said it. Sounds almost like something Sarah Palin would say.

  16. rfreed says:

    300 more crossfires and this article will enter into the shrine for most beloved writings alongside “War On Leather”.

  17. Well…this place never fails in surprising me man.. LOL.. Hoping you are all doing decently today. Enjoy the day, and always keep smiling. Then stab someone in the chest as you continue to smile. LOL.

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