Author: keileenl
Islamic Extremists Issue Fatwa Against American Poodle
SAN FRANCISCO, CA (GlossyNews) — Incensed Islamic extremists issued a fatwa early this evening against an American Muslim poodle named Crystal accused of breeding with an infidel St. Bernard named Herb. “Crystal has been seeing Herb at a local dog…
Hitler Found Living in Mexico with Conjoined Jewish Twins
MEXICO CITY, Mexico (GlossyNews) — Shocking reports out of Mexico City suggest that Adolf Hitler is alive and has been cohabitating with conjoined Jewish twins Golda and Miriam Slotski since 1962. “I saw him. I swear I did. I couldn’t…
French General Threatens China, then Quickly Takes it Back
Paris (GlossyNews) — French official are scrambling this afternoon in an apparent effort to appease their enraged Chinese counterparts. The dispute began with reports of an ill-advised boast made by General Pierre Petit on the French Riviera Monday afternoon, where…
March Madness: Entire Basketball Team Really Goes Mad
Indianapolis, IN (GlossyNews) — Stunned NCAA officials are scrambling this afternoon as they attempt to deal with 16 stark raving mad college basketball players running amok across downtown Indianapolis.
Rhode Island Announces Plans to Secede from Union, Align with Zanzibar
Providence, RI (GlossyNews) Finally fed up with being classified as the America’s smallest state and with the perceived lack of respect accompanying that classification, teeny, weeny Rhode Island announced plans today to sever ties with the other 49 states. With…
Senator Caught in “Affair of the Heart” with Neighbor’s Doberman
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Anonymous sources are alleging that a prominent but unnamed United States senator is engaged in an intensely emotional relationship with his next door neighbor’s Doberman Pinscher. “It’s only a matter of time before the tabloids get…