Search Results for: obama
Mitt Romney Cannot, Will Not Win (Yet Again) And Here’s Why
Time Magazine has a great article about Mitt Romney, and how his third (and final?) attempt at running for office will be no better than before. On the early morning of Election 2012 I ran an article entitled “Obama WILL…
2014 – The Year in Review: Part II (July – December)
We continue this week with Part II of Glossy News’ Year in Review for 2014. If you missed Part I, don’t worry, you didn’t miss much, but it’s here for the curious. A couple of wars, a few natural disasters…
America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”
Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie. “It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda,” stated…
Bush Doctrine 2.0/0.2. Jeb Confirms Allays Our Foreign Policy Fears (2)
Here’s the rest of The End of History. I’m so excited to proclaim this, I nearly expected the ceiling of my office to cave in. …Not the glass ceiling, of course. For, just like the 100%-Anti-State-Patronage-And-Condescension-Dems, Republicans don’t have a…
Kim Jong-un: Bring Back Breadsticks Or Die
Washington, D.C. – Just when you thought the United States was safe again following the announcement that Sony Pictures had pulled the controversial movie, The Interview, from theatres, a new threat arrived from North Korean Leader, Kim Jong-un, early Friday…
4 out of 5 Republicans in Anonymous Survey Admit Liking Dick
Support for Dick Cheney and former President George Bush to be prosecuted for torture appear to have fallen faster than an erection in Hillary Clinton’s presence according to inside sources. Hard numbers from a recent survey revealed that most Republicans…
Certain ‘Forces’ Send In The Cheney To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.
Eager to take over the U.S. government as swiftly as possible after winning major seats in the Senate and Legislature, ‘certain forces’ within our system have called on a specialist to rid the organization of its ‘lame duck’ elements. Operating…
President Replaces Hand Shake w/ Fist Bump
Washington D.C.-When President Barack Obama meets with leaders of foreign nations, he will now use a fist bump as a greeting, that according to a White House Press Release. Reporters asked the President to elaborate during a round of golf…
Rupert Murdoch Admits FOX News Began as Political Satire
In a recent interview with Glossy News, media tycoon Rupert Murdoch confessed a bit of an inside joke that has kept him smiling to himself for over 18 years – The FOX News he initially envisioned was a 24-hour news…
Poll: Over 50% of US Women Have Been Drugged, Improperly Touched by Cosby
Bill Cosby’s PR nightmare has gotten worse. In addition to the original seven to fourteen women who accused the formerly beloved comedian of sexual assault, more and more women have spoken up in a show of solidarity with their abused…