Beefeaters Accused of Rampant Sexism
Two Beefeaters at the Tower of London have been suspended from duty – by the thumbs – while a third is currently undergoing a course of extraordinary rendition in the Tower’s basement dungeons in connection with allegations of harassing their…
Kellogg’s New “Panacea Puffs” Claims to Cure All
Weird and bizarre nutritional claims come and go – alongside the passage of a Millennium’s ages – and too with the flight of short fickle seasons. Raw mammoth meat provided our cave-dwelling ancestors with the virility and stamina to survive…
Chinese Politburo Hits New Highs of Paranoia
The day prior to the kick-off of September’s Melbourne International Film Festival its executive director Bluey McBruce received a most bellicose telephone call from a certain Mr Flip Flop Fong – the senior official at the Chinese consulate in the…
Ask Hank: Another Greek Tragedy
Hey Hank, Sometimes it feels like everything around me is going wrong, like my family hates me, like I’ll never get married, and like I’ll never have kids or become a real man. Can you suggest what drink would go…
Fort Hood Massacre Not Terrorism, “Simply a Case of Islamic Involuntary Assisted Suicide”
This is a teachable moment in how we, as Americans, fail to understand differing cultures and values from around the world. As a Muslim, Major Hasan may have had a broader outlook on what actually constitutes assisted suicide, and we should respect that. Perhaps to Islamic sensibilities, assisted suicide in the medical profession has more of an ‘involuntary’ component than we have in the West.
Child Laborers Caught Sleeping on the Job
We’ve been known to miss some time from time to time, but never as much as we have in the past six-months. Between the big trip to Puerto Rico, dealing with the Puerto Ricans and dealing with all the things…
Shameless Saudis on the Green Energy Cadge Make Fools Beyond their Dress(es)
There was a veritable abundance of Third World countries present – and on their usual scrounging missions – at the recent U.N. climate talks in Bangkok. All present were attempting to convince anyone stupid enough to listen that they definitely…
Man Dressed as Sheep Barbequed
A tartan-clad football hooligan is due to appear in court today to face charges concerning an incident in which an Aberdeen Woolybacks team soccer fan wearing a ‘black sheep’ Halloween fancy dress costume suffered second degree burns after being set…
Mattel Announces New Line of Black Barbie Dolls to be in Stores by Kwanza
With the success of last years “Cougar Barbie” still fresh in their minds, Mattel will launch a full line of Black Barbie dolls in time for the Kwanza celebrations. The original proposal was for a single new doll shipped with…