Mattel Announces New Line of Black Barbie Dolls to be in Stores by Kwanza

With the success of last years “Cougar Barbie” still fresh in their minds, Mattel will launch a full line of Black Barbie dolls in time for the Kwanza celebrations.

The original proposal was for a single new doll shipped with a hair straightening kit for the kiddies to play with. After careful review by the corporate safety department, it was decided that this action would expose too many young children to the harsh chemicals in the straightening kit. The decision was ratified by the Mattel legal department, remembering the several hundred lawsuits filed over Bleach Blond Barbie a few years ago.

The new line of dolls will include: Natural Barbie, with a full-blown, out of control Afro; Just Passin’ Barbie with a light milk chocolate complexion and long straight hair; Two models of Hot Mamma Barbie (white guy version) having the standard Barbie figure, short straight hair and medium mocha complexion and (black guy version) with oversized breasts and booty, dark black complexion and high, lacquered hairdo; and Hoochie Mamma Barbie will be a variation of Hot Mamma Barbie (black guy version) with medium afro, halter top, hot pants and go-go boots.

All of the new Barbies’ are set to retail for $29.95, with the exception of Hoochie Mamma, which will retail for $20 per hour, if you ain’t the man.

Author: Iracundus Humanus

Iracundus Humanus was born in the middle of the last century, of working class parents. He was a sweet and happy child, but far too observant of the Human Condition for his own good. Seeing the manner in which people treat one another, he shed his claim to humanity (and his "sweetness") and now occasionally writes brief notes on the ills of society. He has traveled the country in a search for truth and justice (neither of which was located). He now resides in a small mid-western city containing a Major Catholic University, having located his clothing and broken down the door in the City of Brotherly Ennui.

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