Posted in News In Your Briefs

Al Qaeda Suicide Bomber Interview Captured on Video

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — CIA Director Leon Panetta released today a portion of a captured al Qaeda suicide bomber job interview. In the scene, the jihadist recruiter attempts to determine if he should take a chance on the earnest young…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Al Qaeda Suicide Bomber Interview Captured on Video
Posted in Making Headlines

Wall Street Builds Bunkers for Bankers with Blinkers

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Wall Street Builds Bunkers for Bankers with Blinkers
Posted in Making Headlines

Russian Prime Minister To Star in Children’s Movie: “Winnie the Putin”

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Russian Prime Minister To Star in Children’s Movie: “Winnie the Putin”
Posted in News In Your Briefs The Rest

Obama Taps Dan Rather to Save Dying Newspaper Industry

In a surprise appearance at today’s White House Press briefing, President Obama introduced Dan Rather as his new “Dead Tree Press Czar.” Rather will be tasked to oversee the federal takeover of 27 failing liberal newspapers. “We cannot allow newsrooms…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Taps Dan Rather to Save Dying Newspaper Industry
Posted in Making Headlines

“Rocky VI” Filming Suspended While Stallone Battles Gout

WTF?! Click now to find out more! “Rocky VI” Filming Suspended While Stallone Battles Gout
Posted in Making Headlines

In Fit of Pique, U. S. to Host Chicago Games in 2016, Boycott Rio

WTF?! Click now to find out more! In Fit of Pique, U. S. to Host Chicago Games in 2016, Boycott Rio
Posted in Politics Top Stories

CIA Playing Hardball with Obama

In an exclusive interview with the Washington Times, a senior CIA official said the Agency was in payback mode with the White House. Insisting he be referred to only as “Leon P” to protect his identity, the official revealed that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CIA Playing Hardball with Obama
Posted in Politics

Obama May Target World Unemployment

National Enquirer – Part 3 of John’s Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at President Obama’s compound. Before he was discovered and removed by Secret Service agents, Smith managed to tape several strategy meetings Obama conducted with advisors. In the following transcript, the President leads a brainstorming session on correcting the nation’s dismal employment situation:

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama May Target World Unemployment
Posted in Sports Scandals Strange People

Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview

Former CBS Anchor Dan Rather charged today that the network recently spiked a “60 Minutes” interview with Vice President Joe Biden under pressure from the White House. “I heard that Rahm Emanuel previewed the tape and found Biden harder to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats

National Enquirer – Part II of John Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at the Obama Compound. From his hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where strategy meetings were held, Smith…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats
Posted in Health Politics

Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

Stung by reports that the elderly are turning against his health care reform proposal, President Barack Obama is prepared to offer seniors a series of incentives to get them back on board.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors
Posted in Health Politics Top Stories

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

Washington — Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reports that the Obama Administration plans to use the death of Senator Ted Kennedy to fast-track its health care reform measure now languishing in Congress.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave
Posted in Human Interest Politics Top Stories

Obama: Stop Bothering Me

Washington — A source close to President Barack Obama tells Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward that the President has begun to chafe at his inability to get away from the job, even at his vacation retreat on Martha’s Vineyard.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama: Stop Bothering Me
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Woodward: Biden, Panetta Losing Obama’s Confidence

ABC News – Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reported today that President Obama may replace Vice President Joe Biden and CIA Director Leon Panetta before the end of his first term.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Woodward: Biden, Panetta Losing Obama’s Confidence
Posted in Human Interest Politics

Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

National Enquirer — An intrepid National Enquirer reporter has managed the near-impossible: gain access to the Obama compound on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper. During his time at the estate, John Smith discovered a hiding place in the bushes…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”
Posted in Human Interest World News

Obama to Begin New World Apology Tour in Cuba

Washington – When President Barack Obama arrives in Havana for a state visit next month, he will personally apologize to late Cuban Premier Fidel Castro for decades of American interference with Cuba’s efforts to destabilize the Southern Hemisphere.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama to Begin New World Apology Tour in Cuba
Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

CIA Tape Shocker: Pelosi in Bed with Reid, Murtha

Washington — In an escalation of the conflict between the Central Intelligence Agency and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a CIA source has provided the New York Times a tape of what he maintains is a July 2007 meeting attended by…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CIA Tape Shocker: Pelosi in Bed with Reid, Murtha
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Foundation to Launch “Cash for Congressional Clunkers” Program

New York — The Foundation to Preserve American Values, a private philanthropic group, announced at a news conference today that it will distribute up to one billion dollars in grants to selected members of Congress. Ralph Warren, President of the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Foundation to Launch “Cash for Congressional Clunkers” Program
Posted in Politics Strange People Top Stories

Mansour Biden Unleashed

Washington – At a hastily called press briefing yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden blasted the New York Times for asserting in an editorial that a highly classified document on American missile defense was made public accidentally.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mansour Biden Unleashed
Posted in Politics

Hillary: Gore Threatened Me with Endorsement

In an interview with Salon Magazine, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton charged that in May of 2008, former Vice President Al Gore threatened to support her for President, over her objections.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hillary: Gore Threatened Me with Endorsement
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Obama Administration Stunned by State Department Secession

Washington – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton declared today the State Department‘s independence from the Obama Administration. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs reported that President Obama reacted very coolly to the news. “His only comment,” Gibbs said, was, “Let’s all be…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Administration Stunned by State Department Secession
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Human Interest Politics

Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

Chicago – In a widely anticipated appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton offered her sympathy to Jenny Sanford, the wife of admitted adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. To the audience’s surprise, Mrs. Clinton then…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”
Posted in Politics Top Stories

First Lady Threatens Legal Action on Sotomayor Nomination

Washington – In an interview with Katie Couric this morning, Michelle Obama revealed that she is suing the President for breach of contract over the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! First Lady Threatens Legal Action on Sotomayor Nomination
Posted in Crime Environment Politics

White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport

New York – In the current edition of The Nation magazine, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel charges that President Bush is personally responsible for burning California’s economy.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport
Posted in Politics War Zone

Biden Real Hero of Somali Pirate Standoff

In an interview with the Washington Post today, Vice President Joe Biden took credit for resolving the USS Bainbridge-Somali pirate standoff last April.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Biden Real Hero of Somali Pirate Standoff
Posted in Health Politics

Secret Obama Health Strategy Leaked

Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward revealed today that a high-level White House source has provided him with transcripts of Obama War Room strategy sessions.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Secret Obama Health Strategy Leaked
Posted in Politics

Bill Clinton: Why Hillary Lost

Washington – In his first in-depth interview since the election, former President Bill Clinton said he warned Mrs. Clinton early on that she needed to project a tougher image to attract independents.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bill Clinton: Why Hillary Lost
Posted in War Zone World News

Administration to Pre-empt Iran by Nuking Israel First

Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward has released another transcript of a recent White House strategy session, this one devoted to the looming Iran-Israel confrontation.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Administration to Pre-empt Iran by Nuking Israel First
Posted in Politics War Zone

Al Qaeda Split Over Obama Overtures

A source in al Qaeda’s inner circle tells Al Jazeera that hardliners oppose Osama bin Laden’s decision to alter the organization’s tactics in response to President Barack Obama’s overtures to the Muslim world.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Al Qaeda Split Over Obama Overtures
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Carville Named “Right Wing Threat Assessment Czar”

Washington – Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano introduced James Carville today as the Department’s new “Right Wing Threat Assessment Czar.” A political science professor at Tulane, Carville is inexplicably married to Republican strategist Mary Matalin.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Carville Named “Right Wing Threat Assessment Czar”