Jehovah’s Witness Probe Widens, Officials Going Door-to-Door
Tallahatchie County DA Kirk Shatner gazes into the distance when pressed on his crusade against the Jehovah Witness organization. “Oh yeah, I know what some people say. That I’m picking on an unpopular minority in blatant appeal to the fundamental…
Yet Another Outbreak of Rabies at FOX News
MINOT, North Dakota (GlossyNews) — The recent outbreak of rabies, the madness inducing disease spread by biting that has infected the major stars of Fox News Station, has spread far beyond the confines of their offices. In a new evolution…
Coca Cola Sues KOCH Industries
ATLANTA, Georgia (GlossyNews) — The Coca Cola Company has announced that it is considering bringing a suit on Koch brothers company, KOCH Industires because of their forced mispronounciation of their family name. The Coke spokesperson said “the name Koch should…
Noted Anthropologist – Early Man “Flintstone” was Homosexual
Sure, you remember him. Yes, that adorable Fred Flintstone wearing his cave man outfit of an animal skin over one shoulder and hanging around with best friend Barney Rubble. The Flintstones were the modern age vision of a Stone Age…
Entire Population Blocs Heading for Hills to Avoid Biometric “Tech”
Technological advances in how people are doing their business these days have prompted one of the largest exoduses in America. Entire close-knit groups, mainly large families banding together, are pooling their resources and heading for the rugged wilderness found in…
Rose Bowl Parade Officials Cancel N. Korean Army Marching Deal
Pasadena, CA – Rose Bowl Parade officials sent an official notice to members of the elite North Korean Army’s precision marching corp. The letter gave notice that due to recent international nuclear tensions, the participation of the 10,000 man North…
If McDonald’s Gets Gov Health Insurance Exemption, Who’s Next?
Rules are made to be broken and it appears that may be happening in the case of the fast food giant McDonald’s when it comes to complying with the new rules handed down under the Health Care Reform Bill. We…
Mel Gibson Writes Toilet Paper Check to Grigorieva for Child Support
Mel Gibson, recently ordered to start paying the mother of his child an additional $15,000 a month in child support, decided to take the opportunity to show Grigorieva just how much he disliked the idea and penned a check on…
Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews
NEW BRIGHTON, Pennsylvania (BNSE) — State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due…