ATLANTA, Georgia (GlossyNews) — The Coca Cola Company has announced that it is considering bringing a suit on Koch brothers company, KOCH Industires because of their forced mispronounciation of their family name.
The Coke spokesperson said “the name Koch should be pronounced ‘Koch’ rhyming with the word crotch, like it’s written, not coke, which is confusing our consumers about their favorite cola.
“Customers have spoken and will continue to speak out against this travesty,” continued the spokesperson.
“Some of our valued customers now say they don’t like that we are financing right wing operations against their social security and medicare.” he said at Coca Cola headquarters in Atlanta.
“We feel that the determined inability of the Koch brothers to recognize their fine German heritage, relative to name pronunciation is inherently damaging our bottom line. We’re pissed, and that’s the truth,” smiled the spokesperson.
When asked what the outcome of the lawsuit could possibly be if in Coke’s favor, the spokesperson said “I couldn’t possibly be expected at this time to say. I know that the attorney mentioned treble damages as a beginning for negotiations with the Koch family.”
Then she smiled and said “You know I now remember that there was a very spirited game of corn hole in the conference during the director’s meeting and I did hear the number “2 bucks” bantered about with much fanfare by the chairman. I am sure he wasn’t planning on suggesting $6 as a settlement.”