Coca Cola Sues KOCH Industries

ATLANTA, Georgia (GlossyNews) — The Coca Cola Company has announced that it is considering bringing a suit on Koch brothers company, KOCH Industires because of their forced mispronounciation of their family name.

The Coke spokesperson said “the name Koch should be pronounced ‘Koch’ rhyming with the word crotch, like it’s written, not coke, which is confusing our consumers about their favorite cola.

“Customers have spoken and will continue to speak out against this travesty,” continued the spokesperson.

“Some of our valued customers now say they don’t like that we are financing right wing operations against their social security and medicare.” he said at Coca Cola headquarters in Atlanta.

“We feel that the determined inability of the Koch brothers to recognize their fine German heritage, relative to name pronunciation is inherently damaging our bottom line. We’re pissed, and that’s the truth,” smiled the spokesperson.

When asked what the outcome of the lawsuit could possibly be if in Coke’s favor, the spokesperson said “I couldn’t possibly be expected at this time to say. I know that the attorney mentioned treble damages as a beginning for negotiations with the Koch family.”

Then she smiled and said “You know I now remember that there was a very spirited game of corn hole in the conference during the director’s meeting and I did hear the number “2 bucks” bantered about with much fanfare by the chairman. I am sure he wasn’t planning on suggesting $6 as a settlement.”

Author: BobZaguy

Gender: Male Astrological Sign: Scorpio Zodiac Year: Horse Occupation: Graphic Design Location: Chicago : IL : United States Wine and graphic design… inseparable. Interests Barflies & Lemonade Favorite Movies Anything with Paul Newman; sauce, lemonade, sex; not in that order. Favorite Music Classical Second Favorite Jazz Favorite Books Underworld–Don DeLillo Favorite Movies "I ain't got no favorite movies, well maybe just that Bambi"

2 thoughts on “Coca Cola Sues KOCH Industries

  1. OK. Your article states that they don't recognise their German heritage? OK. Well a) their heritage isn't German. It's Dutch, so there may be a slight difference in pronunciation, but if it were German, b) I studied German for a while, and am 1/4 German myself. I would suggest that the word their last name sounds like/rhymes with IS NOT "crotch". Koch is the German word for "cook". Think of another word for "rooster". THAT'S how you pronounce it. That's if you're speaking German, and I find that pronunciation A LOT more apt in describing them.

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