Woman Claims “It Is What It Is” Wasn’t What It Was
A New Jersey woman has brought charges against a local yoga instructor for misleading her into believing a simple saying could solve most of her life problems. In her complaint, Marilyn Johnson, a hairdresser from Hoboken, claims that Karma, aka…
Cops to Use Womb as Rape Evidence Locker
Swee Chung Ting, an alleged rape victim in New Mexico, is seeking to charge the state for use of her womb as an evidence locker. It began with submission of legislation to make abortion illegal in New Mexico in cases…
Piers Morgan Admits: “I’m Pretty Much a Wanker”
After months of struggle with public pressure in the United States and Great Britain, Piers Morgan has come out to confess that he is a wanker. The admission came in a tearful interview with Oprah Winfrey, where the Limey Leprechaun…
KKK Allows More Gays than Boy Scouts
The Boy Scouts of America has announced that they are considering thinking about the possibility of forming an exploratory committee to allow gays among their ranks. But the Klan has been doing that for decades. Boy Scouts of America has…
Kim Jong-un Places 2nd in North Korean Barbecue Competition
It was merely a common single rainbow that heralded Kim Jong-un’s 2nd place finish this weekend at the First Annual North Korean BBQ Blowout in Pyongyang. State media praised the supreme leader of North Korea for his grilling expertise, noting…
Beavis, Butthead Steal Car, Shoot Out Wayne LaPierre’s Windshield
Beavis and Butthead were taken into custody today after they allegedly stole a car, purchased an unregistered weapon at a gun show, then used it to shoot out the windshield of Wayne LaPierre’s car, according to a police report. The…
Google CEO Apologizes for Inserting Creepy Subliminal Message into Search Engine Name
MOUNTAINVIEW, CA–Larry Page, co-founder and CEO of the mammoth search engine known to the world as Google, released a shocking admission and subsequent apology yesterday for intentionally placing harmful subliminal messages into the name of his informational superhighway. Though everyone…
Scientists: Newton, Galileo Psychotic—Textbook Recall Likely
A group of 142 leading scientists and psychiatrists have published an open letter to the world, revealing their conclusions on scientists of years’ past—most notably Isaac Newton and Galileo Galilei. The contributors, almost all of them members of the National…
Cigarette Cards Back in Fashion in Australia
When the Australian High Court forced tobacco manufacturers to sell cigarettes in packaging without their distinctive colours and logos from December last year, the World Health Organisation (WHO) applauded this decision, saying that it was the right thing to do…
Pol. Candidate Shocks Press with Actual Answer
America’s politics have just become more divisive after a candidate’s response to a question at his election press conference. Mike Uno, 43, who is running for the Republican nomination in Virginia’s gubernatorial election this year, is at the center of…