Categorized | Politics, World News

Pol. Candidate Shocks Press with Actual Answer

Pol. Candidate Shocks Press with Actual Answer

America’s politics have just become more divisive after a candidate’s response to a question at his election press conference.

Mike Uno, 43, who is running for the Republican nomination in Virginia’s gubernatorial election this year, is at the center of the controversy. When Central Central News reporter Candy Bash asked him why he has not yet married, Uno responded “Because I’m smarter than your ex-husband.”

Bash was quick to counteract by calling Uno “despicable,” but the Virginian fired back, saying she “makes celibacy desirable” and “should invest in a wardrobe of burqas.”

CCN cameramen did attempt to cut the live broadcast, but a transmission failure prevented successful cutoff to the satellite, allowing Uno’s words to enter living rooms across the nation.

Reactions so far have been mixed. While many Democrats and Republicans have called on Uno to apologize, figures such as Congressman Jim Moran (D-Alexandria) and former Senator Bob Packwood (R-Oregon) are offering their support.

Despite its recent election of a board comprised predominantly of women, the Organization for Total Own Appreciation (OTOA) also conceded that Uno deserves recognition. In the words of an official statement, “While it pains us to admit this, Uno pretty much buttslammed Bash. That’s one badass total own.”

Polls show Uno has both gained and lost support in various demographics since the press conference. He currently leads Silvio Berlusconi 49-47 percent in a hypothetical matchup for the Virginia Governorship.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 57 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Washington, D.C. native stuck in the Alps. I use a typewriter and then copy and paste to my computer screen..it doesn't work so well.

.

One Response to “Pol. Candidate Shocks Press with Actual Answer”

  1. Brian White says:

    Oh satire. This is so obviously a farce. Clearly no politician will ever give a straight answer. Once they do they'll be first laughed out of office, then voted out of office. That's the real tragedy with out system.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Fake Commercials!


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

10 posts
5 posts
2 posts
2 posts
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial