How to Train Navy SEALS as a Stay-at-Home Parent
AUSTIN, TX—Are you a stay-at-home mom or dad? Do you have dreams of entering an elite division of the military like the U.S. Navy SEALS or the Green Berets but feel like you just don’t have the time to prepare?…
State Mottos Change in Several States This Year to Attract Tourism
States are constantly re-inventing themselves this time of year, vying for tourist dollars. The better the state motto on license plates and brochures, the more interest they can garner, which translates into more visitors come spring and summer. Still, some…
Pot and Bongo Fest Expected to Draw Huge Crowds
The First Annual Pot and Bongo Fest scheduled to be held this year is expected to draw huge crowds from all over the world. “Since this is the first festival in the country featuring legalized marijuana, we can’t put a…
Israel Kicks Off Palestinian Space Program
An Exodus rocket launched three Israeli astronauts and 100 Palestinian refugees into orbit Wednesday, kicking off a ten-year mission to establish a permanent human colony on the surface of Mars. The rocket roared into mostly clear skies from the Gaza…
Monsanto seeks patent on child
Biotechnology giant Monsanto Corporation announced today that it is seeking a patent on one of its research employee’s children. “If the patent is granted,” said Monsanto attorney Seth “Kendall” Waxman”, “this organism cannot be used for further reproduction without Monsanto…
The NRA to Use ‘Puppy Eyes’ to Win Favor In Public Debate
The NRA in its constant quest for keeping up a good image of itself, keeping guns in as many hands as possible, controlling the minds of the public and keeping a stranglehold on Congress has developed a new methodology for…
CDC Announces Lower Cases Of Linsainty in 2013
Atlanta – The Center for Disease Control announced today that the terrible fever of Linsanity that swept New York City last year has finally subsided. Doctors say they feared the disease would spread to Houston, but were relived to find…
China Admits to Hacking US Computers
China’s military leaders admitted today that they have been hacking into American military and industrial computers since the advent of the internet. “Of course we’ve been hacking into American computers. You hack into ours, we hack into yours. That’s what…
FACT: Jon Stewart is the Most Honest Man in News?
Love him or hate him, if you follow politics, you know his name. Jon Stewart has been the host of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Comedy Central for well over a decade, and he brings the new like…
India Wins Kashmir in Checkers Match
The world map has been redrawn after India won Kashmir by defeating Pakistan in a checkers match. According to correspondents on the ground, India pulled off a close victory by eliminating several red kings from the gameboard, leaving Pakistan boxed…