North Carolina Cracks Down on Plumber’s Crack
State representatives of North Carolina have introduced a bill that, if passed, would “clarify” an already existing state law to prohibit the display of butt cracks. The proposed legislation, House Bill (_!_), would make it a Class Preparation H felony…
Bob Simon brings peace to the Middle East
60 Minutes reporter Bob Simon waxed lyrical about Israel’s Iron Dome weapons system. “…a technological marvel, a cutting-edge weapon of war that even some pacifists might come to love. Instead of killing people, Iron Dome saves them.” “Will Israel’s ‘Iron…
Morons Protest Lack of Equality
Local news is reporting that traffic has been shut down in Washington, D.C. after a new protest movement took to the streets to demand equality legislation for morons. The massive throng of over 1 million morons arrived on Constitution Avenue…
NASCAR Drivers Harassing Gordon On Starting Second Behind A Girl
Not everyone is celebrating Danica Patricks pole position qualifying run. Many of the other drivers are giving grief to Jeff Gordon on not beating Danica for that position. The irony that they qualified behind him is lost on many in…
Conservatives Furious Over Historical Implications Of Mississippi Error
Due to an error in not filing documents stating Mississippi’s ratification of the 13th amendment ending slavery, historical references will now show that slavery ended under President Obama’s second term. Speaker of the House John Boenher stated, “How many lucky…
PETA Upset Over Mindy McCready Shooting Dog
NASA Scientists Warn; More Asteroids, Comets and Meteors On The Way to Destroy Earth
NASA scientists have revealed that the recent meteor explosion in Russia, the flyby of asteroid 212 DA 124, the strange meteor shower over Florida and the mysterious fireball spotted over southern California are simply precursors of the devastation yet to…
Iranian Space Monkey Main Course At Celebration Banquet
Cultural differences took front row this week when the monkey that made Iranian history by being the first living creature that they had successfully propelled into space and back was eaten at the post flight victory celebration. After a lengthy…
They Aren’t Entitlements, Guys, Lay Down Your Weapons
Every day in the conservative media I hear about slashing benefits in the “entitlement” sector, and while that may sound good, it’s total boshat, and of the highest order. Almost everything the conservative media decries as wasteful “entitlement” spending is…