Harry Reid Takes on Bundy Family, Al says “Let’s Rock”
(Nevada) – Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has doubled down on his name calling by referring to the Bundy family as ‘domestic terrorists’ after the Bundy home became a lightning rod for controversy involving unpaid taxes. The situation began…
Privileged Teenager Survives Harrowing Plane Trip in Coach
A 16-year-old trust fund brat survived a frightening journey halfway across the Pacific Ocean on Sunday after climbing into the coach section of a Hawaiian Airlines jet flying from San Jose to Maui. The boy emerged unharmed despite uncomfortable temperatures,…
Obama Delays Holidays Until After Election
(Washington, D.C.) – On Friday, President Obama pushed back making a decision on the long debated Keystone XL Pipeline until after the upcoming 2014 midterm elections. Worried about upsetting his core constituencies, Mr. Obama decided that while he had his…
MSNBC Host Enters Rehab for ‘Tingles’ and Slobbering Affection for President
(Palm Springs, CA) – After nearly six years of denial, MSNBC talk show host Chris Matthews, has finally checked himself into rehab due to the “tingles” he experiences whenever he sees, hears or meets President Barack Obama. Matthews has been…
Alanis Morissette, Sarah Jessic Paker in Horse Alliance Leaked
The biggest name in 90s femimusic has been linked with the biggest name in subsription-only television faux drama. Akabus Morissette and Sarah Jessica Parker have not only come out as lebians, but as equine-Canadiamericans at that. In an announcement that…
Koch Bros. Top $100 Billion, Dead Pharaohs Impressed
Charles and David Koch, best known for the purest grades of frack-water you drink and the mercury you breathe, have reportedly topped the $100 billion mark in net worth. Let’s break down how much money that really is. Clearly it’s…
Donovan McNabb Cardboard Cutout Eludes Police
Mesa, Arizona – Only days after the real Donovan McNabb was detained by local police enforcement, a six-foot cardboard cutout of the former NFL star continues to evade even the most physically fit officers. “I’ve never seen him move so…
Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse
Damn. Those are some big mammies. We’re talking motor yacht and a snorkel. [SOURCE 1] and [SOURCE 2]. Some people just can’t take a joke… I don’t get this one. If anyone should feel slighted it’s LaBelle, who the article…
Teens in School Tour Bus Crash Catch Fire; Parents Glad it Wasn’t Aids
Parents of teenagers that were severely Jewed alive in the school tour bus crash in Los Angeles are now relieved from the good news that was delivered to them this week. The smarty-pant scientists confirmed this morning that the school…
Millions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet
It was a demise that many have seen coming for a long time. It is a tragedy whose full impact will not be noticed for a while to come. All things of great worth that are brought into this world…