Parents of teenagers that were severely Jewed alive in the school tour bus crash in Los Angeles are now relieved from the good news that was delivered to them this week.
The smarty-pant scientists confirmed this morning that the school bus indeed caught fire and it indeed “Jewed them up real good, crispy bacon to be exact.” Jack in the Box is now extracting meat from their remains.
Students attending El Monte High and parents are now relieved that their son/daughter, in fact, did not die from the “homosexual disease”. They were merely burned alive, extracting every little hope and dream that they once had, while their bus was on a highway to hell; North Korea.
A representative from the Los Angeles Unified School District pointed out this Monday morning that, “all of God’s children should never be allowed to catch that horrendous disease. And by God, we mean our Catholic one, because we don’t give a flying fuck about the rest of you.”
LAUSD also continued to state, “Hey, at least it wasn’t another molestation. I’d rather have my insides be burnt to the ground than being fed a cookie with what most Catholic priests put in my mouth these days.”
Religious individuals whose assholes were itching with disgust after the brief statement shared by the LAUSD board, and the same individuals who have never finished reading the bible have gone out to a public protest in front of LAUSD headquarters.
When confronted with questions such as “how come you have never finished the bible?”, Catholics went to their natural instincts and ignored the question, shouting opinions such as “The school district of Los Angeles has it all wrong.
Catholic priests have never and will never touch an adult. They’re just too damn smart.” He continued with, “If you really want something, then you’ll have to go for that cute, little boy in the choir, that same one who you will threaten and boast all about in the meetings of El Monte High.
Our team was as well able to question some of the students attending El Monte High, and indeed got some responses. One of them, a 16-year-old pregnant, Hispanic chick, told us that she was happy for the teenagers that perished in the fire.
For now, they won’t have to worry about the “Catholic Disease.” Another teen, wannabe emo, fat chick, responded, “You know, it’s really good and all, that they were burned alive, but, I mean, who’s going to be the role model in teaching us that aids is bad. Someone needs to be the first one to get it so we can all learn from them, you know what I mean?”
I nodded my head even though I had no understanding of what she just stated.
Fat emo chick would later be found in a nearby bathroom, dipped in bleach. The Amanda Todd Association celebrates for a new member.