Category: Top Stories
PASTORS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
NOTE TO READER: Recently, I had the following email exchange from a troubled minister of the Lord. He begged me not to reveal his identity. I solemnly vowed to honor his anonymity. His name is Reverend Jimmy Buttski from Swineberg,…
New NFL Rules Require All Players to Remain Two Meters Apart
With the football season set to make its long-awaited return, the NFL has announced a number of radical changes which will come into effect from early September. Protective measures have been put in place to ensure that players are unable to…
“Age of Nefarious” from the Boomer Musical “Hair”: New Lyrics for Covid-19’s Target Group:
Age of NefariousAs Boomers greet a seventh span,The notion strikes woman and man:With Covid-19 lurking to bury us,The wheel’s turned from Aquarius.This is the dawning of the Age of Nefarious,The Age of Nefarious.Nefarious!Nefarious! Harmony and understanding,Sympathy and trust disbanding,A world…
Essential Cruise Universe: Cruising Toward the Future”
ESSENTIAL CRUISE UNIVERSE* CRUISING TOWARD THE FUTURE: E.C.U. Will Take You to a Place You Can Only Imagine * New Name Dear Cruise Veteran: We at Essential Cruise Universe wanted to float our name change by loyal…
Barr’s Secret Police Identified as Unemployed Walmart Security Guards
Washington DC (WAPO) Dismayed by the May jobs report and the unabated protests outside the White House, Administration Spokesperson, Kay (I need to get…) leighed MagaNinny announced yesterday that Attorney Generalissimo William Barf, Economic Guru Supremo Kevin Hassbeen and Walmart…
Tips on investing in medical technology from SBV CEO Amit Raizada
Three months into quarantine, with COVID-19 cases still far from petering out, society has come to accept that physical distancing, Zoom calls, face masks, and other changes may be the new normal. Until we develop an effective COVID-19 vaccine, the…
Heartwarming: Devoted Amazon Customer Starts GoFundMe to Raise Money for Billionaire Adulterer After Market Crash
SEATTLE, WA— With tears welling up in his eyes, Seattle good Samaritan Jay Thompson poured out his heart, detailing his desire to help assist the world’s richest man after he lost a fraction of his immense wealth during the 2020…
How to Remember Your Name
Other than being convicted of serial infant cannibalism, nothing is more embarrassing to an Older American than forgetting his own name. I attended last year’s Metropolitan Opera gala dressed as – like I’m supposed to remember? Wait… Richard Nixon? Soon…
Trump Claims He is a Necromancer
Washington DC (AP) In a remarkable disclosure in the Rose Garden Friday, President Trump announced, “When I arose this morning, I discovered I had the spiritual gift of being able to communicate with the dead. In fact, it was George…
Is The Voice Really Considering These Changes to Shake Things Up?
TV shows are constantly having to keep up with their rivals to deliver something different and zany to audiences. Love Island took us on a winter holiday in the middle of freezing January for its latest series, while The Masked…