Essential Cruise Universe: Cruising Toward the Future”



E.C.U. Will Take You to a Place You Can Only Imagine

                                                                                                              * New Name

Dear Cruise Veteran:

                We at Essential Cruise Universe wanted to float our name change by loyal customers first. This slight course change rings the bell on many new cruise possibilities offered as we sail away from this brief Covid-19 docking. Sharing our clear 2020 vision, you will see new horizons and imagine fresh possibilities.  Visualize yourself on any of the six adventures celebrated below. Click to unmask more information about each voyage.

                                                                                                                                                From the Captain’s Desk,

                                                                                                                                                Phil Queeg, E.C.U. [CEO]

Compare offers/prices of competitors:                          For us:

  • [I’d Rather Be] Hiking River Cruises                  +++ Drop Dead Prices / +++Travelers’ Assurance                       
  • Seaborne [Rather than Airborne]                      +++ We’ll take Stimulus Checks as Down Payment


With a big cash infusion from our parent company, we remain strong in the unlikely event governments suspend cruises for an extended time. Read full details*** of the press conference about this here.

*** This overview contains “forward-looking statements.” [Words like “expect,” “anticipate,” “believe,” “seek,” “may,” “forecast,” “estimate,” “intend,” “future” and similar words comprise “forward-looking statements,” which legally do not guarantee future performance and may involve risks and uncertainties]

View our Legal Officers’ full cautionary avowal here. [Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995]

  • Choice #1 > European Capitals PLUS (Virtual)

— No need to vacate shelter-in-place (machine to rock bed and audio of ship and sea included).

— Meals, drinks, dress, and a towel folded daily into a different animal delivered by courier.

— Augmented reality viewing experiences of the day’s city, sites, and museums uploaded.

— Virtual tour experiences and shipboard interactions recorded for play.

— Itineraries (e.g., Mediterranean; South Pacific; Alaska; British Isles; Caribbean; etc.) vary.

  • Choice #2 > European Capitals (Drive-by)

— All on board will be Covid-19 tested before embarking and not allowed off subsequently.

— Vessel will pull into port at each destination (or as close as possible), but NO excursions.

— In Rome, for example, cruise ship will actually dock in Civitavecchia (nice views).

— In some ports, when a dock’s not available, our Tenders will get you closer for pictures.

— Enjoy all of the highlights spotlighted in Choice #1 above in comfort of your small stateroom.

  • Choice #3 > European Capitals (Stateside)

— Travel will be on good old Yankee highways and byways in a huge vehicle shaped like a cruise


— Enjoy all benefits of #1 above in the comfort of your dinky stateroom (with or without


— Various Itineraries. Most in demand = Amsterdam, London. Dublin, Lisbon, and Athens (All in

     Ohio); Also, Beach Road Trip: Venice, California and Venice, Florida. 

— Anther Favorite: Toledo (Ohio); Cairo (Illinois), and Memphis (Tennessee).

— And Still Another:  Berlin (Wisconsin), Warsaw (Indiana), and Moscow (Idaho).

  • Choice #4 > Gambler’s Delight (Win Cruise Extension and Surprise Port Call Possibilities)

— The cruise might be extended.

— Might dock in a port, temporarily or for an extended stay, you hadn’t paid to visit.

— Sixty-day itinerary (U.S. to Europe and then Asia) might outlast imposed shelters-in-place.

— Leased Mercy ship already has extensive medical equipment.

— Masked Balls provide on-board socializing.

  • Choice #5 > The Safe Testing Cruise (No Countries Listed Have Reported Covid-19 Cases)

— Nobody gets back on board without negative Covid-19 test; you might end up Captain.

— Not allowed to board? We’ll fly you home or provide medicine-man or hospital referrals.

— Itinerary #1: Oceania [Kiribati; Marshall Islands; Micronesia; Nauru; Palau; Samoa; the Solomon

     Islands, and Tonga] N.B. – No actual ports; can’t be chicken of Tenders getting you ashore.

— Itinerary #2: North Korea and the Silk Road [Private flight to Turkmenistan not provided by

     Rocket-Man or his government].

— Itinerary #3: Lesotho [One of three countries on earth – others, the Vatican and San Marino –

surrounded completely by another country, in this case, South Africa. You will be parachuted in after docking off coast].


  • Choice #6 > An Out-of-this-World 2022 Cruise (In Conjunction with Elon Musk’s SpaceX)

— First venture on the way to Mars gives legitimacy to our new name.

— No Covid-19 where we’re going, unless we run into somebody like Dr. Spock.

— A cruise vet, you’re used to cramped quarters already [No Suites].

— Literally out-of-this world cuisine, and yet weight won’t be an issue.

— Fun on-board activities [Flying, taking walks, and playing zero-gravity sports].

Author: Ken Hogarty

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