Category: Sports
Local Man Seems Just A Little Too Into Archery
INDIANAPOLIS – Sitting down with his family to watch the opening rounds of the Olympic Games Friday, Indianapolis resident Damien Fenhurst was just a little too into archery, say sources. Displaying an inordinate degree of interest in the skill and…
Top 16 Olympic Games We Wish We Could See
With the 2012 Olympics well under way, we can only dream of the myriad sports that have been excluded. I’m not talking about Yoga or Calvinball, but some of the other unseen greats. Here are just a few of our…
Queen Tweets Her Way through the Opening Ceremonies
LONDON–Through a little investigative journalism here and a little bribe there, Iron E-News was able to obtain the royal jewel of news: The Queen’s Tweets. Unbeknownst to most of the world, her majesty has a secret Twitter account and, since…
Copyright Take-Down: Mount Olympus Forced to Change its Name in Honor of London 2012
LONDON–The International Olympic Committee announced its plans yesterday to change the name of the historic site of the gods, previously known as Mount Olympus, to Mount Samsung in honor of the upcoming Olympic Games. Other famous names that have come…
Olympics Security Downgraded to Single Horse
LONDON, UK – The British Home Office has revealed that, owing to a contractual oversight, the event security force for the 2012 Olympics – which opens in London this Friday – has been downgraded to a single horse called Shadow….
Steroid Use Gets Satirist Banned from Covering 2012 Olympics
Johnny B. Rotten, a writer who makes his living making fun of the people who make the world an interesting place to live, has officially been banned from covering the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Rotten is accused of illegal…
Opening Ceremonies to Switch to ‘Hunger Games’ Format
LONDON – The International Olympic Committee (IOC) today announced plans to dramatically alter the usual format of the Opening Ceremonies, moving away from the traditional vibe of peace and goodwill and opting instead for a Hunger Games-style fight to the…
As Olympics Open Michael Phelps Tests Positive for Performance-Enhancing Arms
BALTIMORE, MD – The world of athletics was left stunned Tuesday after the announcement that 14-time Olympic gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps has tested positive for performance-enhancing arms. The world renowned swimmer, who won eight gold medals at the 2008…
Tally Ho: Preview of the London 2012 Summer Olympics
LONDON ENGLAND – 27 July, 2012 – Reuters Newswire The 2012 London Summer Games have officially begun. The breathtakingly beautiful new venue known as London Olympic Stadium (scheduled to be completed just in time for the 2016 Summer Games in…
Behind The Scenes At The 2012 London Summer Olympics
SCENE: London General Hospital TIME: The 2012 Summer Olympic Games The emergency telephone rings. Nurse: London General. Voice on phone: Ambulance 253 here! We’re bringing in a code 5. Six patients in all.