Category: Sports
IOC Announces Compulsory Drug Use for London Olympics
After decades of what could only be described as a tail-chasing nightmare of anabolic proportions, International Olympic Committee president Jaques Rogge has announced that this years London Olympics will involve compulsory performance enhancing drug use for all competitors.
Elway-Manning for America 2012
Area man Peyton Manning had just gotten laid off from work. Within 48 hours, he knew what he had to do. He hopped on a plane and headed to Denver. John Elway, Broncos exec, was waiting for him. “Sorry about…
Manning Joins Broncos, Tebow Converts to Paganism
DENVER, Colorado – “There is more than one God,” Tim Tebow said in awe after watching Peyton Manning complete yet another pass in practice. “There’s just no other explanation.” The Broncos’ ex-quarterback, known less for his passing skills than for…
Random Pointlessness Takes the World by Storm
Denizens of the universe have apparently discovered a favorite new sport. Called “Random Pointlessness”, or RP for short, this sport involves a fair amount of hard work and sweat, but nothing remotely resembling intelligence. Random Pointlessness was invented in Pennsylvania…
ESPN’s Mel Kiper Picks Himself as #1 Pick in NFL Draft
Hollywoodland, CA (GlossySports) — ESPN’s latest NFL mock draft surprises many draft pundits, but it comes as absolutely no surprise to football analyst Mel Kiper, Jr. Speaking to reporters earlier today, he defended his latest top draft pick projection.
MMAs Dennis Hallman Explains Wearing Tight Speedos in UFC Fight
MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighter Dennis “Superman” Hallman caused quite a stir Saturday night when he walked into the UFC ring wearing a too-tight pair of Speedo trucks to take on opponent Brian Ebersole. UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) President Dana…
Rock Climbing- A Sport For The Daring And The Deranged
Rock Climbing: A Sport for the Daring And the Deranged – Part I Life is not interesting enough for some people, so they come up with sports like rock climbing to compensate for it. Rock climbing is the sport where…
Brett Favre Ready To Retire — Again
GREENBAY, WI (GlossyNews) — In a surprising and unexpected career move, Brett Favre officially announced today that he is retiring from fatherhood. “Since I have returned to the game I love, my attention will be shifting away from my family…
Pittsburgh Pirates “Sorry”; Promise to Stop Winning
Today, the front office of the Pittsburgh Pirates made a formal apology to Major League Baseball and all of its fans for having such a successful 2011 season so far. “We’re ashamed to say that, this year, we haven’t done…
Muscle Confusion Applies to the Brain as Well
Rep. Anthony Weiner decided to finally show off his results using P90X, the popular workout program that uses “muscle confusion” to go from regular to ripped in just 90 days. Following in the the footsteps of fellow congressman Christopher Lee,…