LONDON–Through a little investigative journalism here and a little bribe there, Iron E-News was able to obtain the royal jewel of news: The Queen’s Tweets.
Unbeknownst to most of the world, her majesty has a secret Twitter account and, since 2009, has become an avid contributor under the codename Intrnt Hpstr.
We have the exclusive and complete list of tweets and are very happy to share them with you:
How many twits does it take to get an old woman up the stairs? Really!
@ME: Remind urself to get a manicure
Ooooh! I luv Mr. Bean!! He makes me LOL
@ME: I’m gunna live 4ver! I’m gunna learn how to fly! Queen!
I shldve worn a Pippa dress
They should have a gold medal for living the longest. Sry Charles.
Can anyone tell me what the devil is going on?
@Charles: Where’s my beer? And don’t tell me I have to drink a bloody Heineken. It tastes like arse.
And now they should have a gold medal for longest, queerest opening ceremony. Where’s Mr. Bean?
By the way World…I really jumped out of that heli. Oh yeah!
Upon receiving this golden nugget of secrets, we felt it was our duty to share this strangely endearing side of a royal family often viewed as out of touch with the rest of the normal world. Long live the Queen of Tweets! Long live the Intrnt Hpstr!