Category: Society
Mega Millions to Exceed $200 Billion
After many months of no winner, the Mega Millions jackpot has now soared to over $200 billion, according to Mega Millions lead director Paula Otto. “Whoever wins this jackpot will be the richest person on Earth”, Otto stated. “they will…
Nativity Scene Vandalized: Baby Jesus Replaced w/ Budweiser
When Dan Fairbanks, pastor at the Village Seventh Day Adventurer Church, checked his congregation’s nativity scene Christmas Eve morning, what he found was the most disturbing image of his life. In the manger belonging to Baby Jesus, instead of Jesus,…
Warming Arctic Ocean Causes Santa To Move Operations To South Pole
Old Nick has been having a hard time of it. His North Pole sweat shops, …er…, workshops have been becoming wet-shops due to the the melting of the sea ice of the arctic. “It has just become impossible! I have…
Rich Convicts Seek Out From Prison as “Affluenza” Catches On
Keller, TX – Mockery of the justice system spread across the country today as a Texas judge sentenced Ethan Couch to 10 years probation for the murder of 4 people while driving drunk in June 2013. Ethan, 16 at the…
Time Traveler Arrested for Killing His Grandfather
Josh Holbecker, a 25 year old time traveler from the year 2072, was arrested this morning after traveling back in time and killing his grandfather, 22-year-old Harvard graduate student Ernest Holbecker. Josh claims that his father, who has not yet…
Holidays Aside – It’s Time For Blonde Suicide Bomber Jokes
Forget the overly cheery Christmas carols, the endless gift shopping and the eye strainingly gaudy seasonal decorations. Cheery days aside, the world is falling apart. In that spirit, it is time for some truly low-brow, rude, raunchy and definitely non-Christmasy…
Grown Man Overdoses on Gummy Vitamins
The FDC has issued a warning for adults who are now taking their daily vitamin supplements in the form of gummy shapes to take only one per day as they are not candy. Thomas “Tommy” Smith, of Cincinnati, Ohio is…
Alex Jones Claims Brain Farts are Real and Dangerous
Alex Jones, host of his own radio show, The Alex Jones Show, and known for his outlandish conspiracy theories, claims that he has personal knowledge that brain farts are not only a real medical condition, but they can be extremely…
Millions Mourn South African Terrorist
JOHANNESBURG – With wails running free across the air, millions of grieving humans gathered in Sandton Square on Friday afternoon to mourn the passing of a great and respected national terrorist from South Africa. Participants interviewed expressed an almost uniform…
Where Have All the Santas Gone? (Comic)
You remember all those wonderful Santas you met as a child. They were kind, courteous, gracious, patient and loving. But, at least according to this cartoon, they all have on big thing in common. Click on the image to see…