Rich Convicts Seek Out From Prison as “Affluenza” Catches On

Keller, TX – Mockery of the justice system spread across the country today as a Texas judge sentenced Ethan Couch to 10 years probation for the murder of 4 people while driving drunk in June 2013.

Ethan, 16 at the time of the accident, had a blood alcohol level of .24 which is not only 3 times the legal limit but Ethan is also a minor.

He collided into a good Samaritan who was assisting a stranded motorist killing them on impact. Defense argued that Ethan Couch suffered from “Affluenza,” a product of a lifestyle in which money bought privilege and that there was no “rational link between actions and consequences.” Newton’s third law of motion begs to differ.

After the judge handed down the sentence earlier this morning, the Texas judicial system has been slammed with wealthy convicts across the country looking to get re-trials. Bernie Madoff himself appeared and was heard saying, “The poor people have been rationalizing crime for years by saying that they are the product of poor neighborhoods and economic repression, or the ‘hood.’ This is a big victory for wealthy people across the world that money can buy anything. We don’t want to be categorized with those lower class scum who can’t afford top-tier lawyers.”

No Bernie, that argument is invalid. Poor people who are victims of economic repression go to jail. There are people serving more jail time for side swiping parked cars than this youth will serve. If this isn’t the biggest joke on the justice system, the law isn’t worth the crooked paper it is printed on.


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