Category: Society
Big Bird Found Dead, Romney Questioned
The Muppets character Big Bird was found dead today in his duplex cage on New York City’s Upper East Side. New York City police have not announced a cause of death, but according to anonymous insiders, the 43-year old television…
Hacker McKinnon Facing Extradition to Jabba the Hutt’s Planet
British computer hacker Gary McKinnon, whose extradition to the US was blocked on humanitarian grounds by UK Home Secretary Theresa May today, now faces a prospect nearly as terrifying: being sent for punishment on the alien planet of Tatooine. McKinnon…
Family Research Council: Maryland Lawyers, Prepare for Divorce Workload
In an email sent to several law firms in Maryland, the Family Research Council (FRC) advised that should the marriage equality referendum pass on November 6th, they will be overrun with requests for divorce from currently married men. This warning…
God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days
INDIANAPOLIS – As temperatures dropped Tuesday to a low of 39° F across the Midwest, God announced that global warming will be put on hold for a few days, while he just tests out a few things. Eager to continue…
Ex-Nazi Guard on Trial for 29,999 Murders Expresses Regrets
Selvoka, Poland-(SatireWorld.com) Former Ukranian concentration camp guard John Demjicunk’s trial ended today with a guilty verdict for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia during WWII. Earning the title ‘Ivan the…
Extreme Yoga Takes Downward Dog Turn
Health advisers are warning people of the dangers of the extreme yoga craze that is sweeping the nation. An extreme form of yoga has been developed among a group of hardcore practitioners, in the underground yoga dens of New York,…
Triple Negative Grocer Doesn’t Not Have No Bananas Today
Jerome Heywood, a green grocer working in Poughkeepiee, New York, has two conundra on his hands. First is the quantity of bananas he has available, but second and more importantly, is conveying this number to his befuddled customers. “It’s not…
Catholic Church To Endorse Masturbation By Males Only
The Catholic church is preparing to make a major announcement concerning changes to their view on sexual behavior. After years of frowning upon, and causing many young Catholics to experience immense guilt, they are now ready to endorse masturbation for…
911 Call Blamed on Noxious Farts
A father is said to be responsible for a call out to the emergency services following a fart that was mistakenly thought to be a noxious gas leak. Father of two, Eric Wilson, is thought to have farted in his…
Crocodile Eats 75 Villagers in Remote Kenyan Park
Bwanna, Kenya – (SatireWorld.com) Game preserve officers tracked down and killed a 45 foot long crocodile today after it was seen leaving a village it decimated during an evening celebration. The reptile is being reported as the ‘world’s largest crocodile.’…