Categorized | Religionism

God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days

God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days

INDIANAPOLIS – As temperatures dropped Tuesday to a low of 39° F across the Midwest, God announced that global warming will be put on hold for a few days, while he just tests out a few things.

Eager to continue the mild fall-winter transition that Hoosiers saw in 2011, The Almighty said that residents in Indiana could expect to see no more than fourteen days of decreased temperatures, insisting that global warming will recommence in earnest on or around October 20.

RIGHT: God, on climate change. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE AND SEE THE WEATHER FORECAST.)

“I’m just tweaking the climate a little at the minute,” said God. “I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about the cold recently, but let me assure everyone that temperatures will return to an unseasonably high level in a couple of weeks.”

“I just need everyone to be patient while I get this stuff done.”

Meanwhile, it was reported Monday that ice sheets covering 660,000 square miles of Greenland have temporarily ceased melting as a result of God’s handiwork.

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This post was written by

- who has written 161 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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3 Responses to “God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days”

  1. Mike Kelly says:

    At least he’s not denying that global warming is actually happening.

  2. Davis B says:

    Yeah ha ha. Nobody puts climate change on hold, not even your imaginary cloud friend who looks down disapprovingly when you touch yourself or impregnate your underage girlfriend. Go ahead, post this comment. You won’t.

  3. Mike Kelly says:

    Well Davis B, they did.

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