Category: Society
NRA: Recent Home Shooting Proves we Should Arm All Homes
Our nation was rocked this week when it was discovered that three minors and two adults were murdered in a spree shooting in New Mexico, prompting the NRA to declare that all homes should have an armed guard. Bernalillo County…
Teenager Opens Fire on Wayne LaPierre, Sean Hannity
National Rifle Association CEO and gun-rights martyr Wayne LaPierre likely was not expecting to be shot at as he celebrated the day after Gun Appreciation Day by shooting off his mouth with Sean Hannity on the Fox Comedy Network. LaPierre…
Report: Someone, Somewhere Actually Pursuing Career In Dental Hygiene
INDIANAPOLIS – A report released Friday has found that someone, somewhere is actively taking steps to realize a lifelong dream of becoming a dental hygienist. General Dentist No, this isn’t the name of an old WWII general who served in…
A Jewish Guy, a Muslim Guy and God Walk Into a Bar
A Jewish guy, a Muslim guy and God walk into a bar… wait a moment… nuts… I can’t remember how that one goes… I’ll have to tell you another one instead: God is busy at his desk in heaven looking…
Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem
FAIRFAX, VA – The contentious issue of gun control in the U.S. appears to have been fully resolved today, following the on-line publication of a satirical news article which instantly united advocates on both sides of the issue with its…
Woman Narrowly Avoids Animal Cruelty Conviction, Helps Change Law
In a surprise verdict in Stoughton District Court yesterday, Alessa Maslansky, 47, of Canton, Massachusetts, was found not guilty of charges relating to fitting her neighbour’s dog with a shock collar in an effort to prevent what she called ‘its…
Toddler Avidly Ruining Around Three Books A Week
INDIANAPOLIS – Despite the inherent allure of mainstream video games, Marvel action figures and children’s television, 3-year-old Nathan LaPlant still manages to find the time to graffiti, on average, three books a week, say the child’s parents. While his older…
TPP Set to Shut Down Media Outlets
In a twist that will come as a shock to everyday users of the Internet, the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) could permanently close down the websites of newspapers across the World Wide Web. “The problem is the very broad language of…
World’s Oldest Person dies – Again
Medical experts are scratching their heads as another elderly person has mysteriously passed away this week. Newspapers the world over shared the sad news that the World’s Oldest Person has just died. This is the latest in a rash of…
NRA Suggestion to Weed Out Crazies Met w/ Unexpected Results
The US government has decided to do what the NRA says and instead of not letting people buy a lot of guns and bullets that the would try to find the crazy people and just stop them from getting them….