Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Internets Tubes

Windows 10 Introduces Wide Array of Exciting New System Errors

Microsoft is proud to introduce Windows 10, the latest version of our operating system for PCs and tablets. To help you get to know our new system better, here are answers to some questions you might have. Why is it…

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Posted in Politics

A Low Point for President Jesus

WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to address the issues of unemployment and poverty in…

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Posted in Society

Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem

FAIRFAX, VA – The contentious issue of gun control in the U.S. appears to have been fully resolved today, following the on-line publication of a satirical news article which instantly united advocates on both sides of the issue with its…

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Posted in Internets Tubes

CIA Internal Advisory: Secure Communications Guidelines

Dear colleagues, In light of recent developments, we would like to advise all agency personnel about the use of certain communications channels and processes which may not be sufficiently secure. Please pay attention to the new guidelines below. 1. Don’t…

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Posted in Politics

Republicans Wish Democrats Would Stop Smiling

WASHINGTON – With the 2012 U.S. election now nearly a week old, Republican politicians are beginning to wonder how long it will take for their Democratic rivals to wipe the shit-eating grins off their faces and return to normal. “It…

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Posted in Politics

Romney Leads Among Schizophrenics

GlossyNews.com – CLEVELAND – A new Gallup poll released today finds that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney continues to trail President Obama in popularity among women, African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, people with cell phones, people aware of the internet, and voters…

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