Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem

FAIRFAX, VA – The contentious issue of gun control in the U.S. appears to have been fully resolved today, following the on-line publication of a satirical news article which instantly united advocates on both sides of the issue with its brilliant wit and insight.

The satirical news article, which combined the irreverent humor of The Onion with the sharp comedic incisiveness of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, had gun rights defenders and gun control advocates nodding their heads in laughter and agreement.

“Honestly, I had never thought about the issue that way before,” a spokesperson for the National Rifle Association commented during a hastily called press conference at the NRA’s headquarters immediately after the article’s publication. “The reason that article is so funny is because it’s so true!”

“Its clever subhead was especially on target,” the NRA spokesman noted, before smiling and adding, “No pun intended.”

On the other side of the issue, representatives of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence were busy mass mailing a link to the satirical news article to their supporters with a note saying, “It’s hard to believe that a problem so complex and so tragic as gun violence could be totally solved in just six ingeniously simple and witty paragraphs.”

“Also, the photo accompanying the article was hilarious,” the Brady Campaign added.

Democratic and Republican leaders in the House and Senate issued a joint statement saying they expected the satirical news article would serve as the basis for comprehensive legislation that would eradicate gun violence in the U.S. before year’s end.

Meanwhile, the website responsible for the satirical news article announced that it is now at work on its next story, which it hopes will “tickle readers’ funny bones” while simultaneously resolving the interconnected issues of income inequality, high unemployment, rising Medicare costs and the national debt.

Author: Steve Fisher

Steve Fisher is an American writer living in Prague, Czech Republic. Visit:

5 thoughts on “Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem

  1. It would be nice, wouldn’t it Skoob?
    Thanks for the input. Like I said, it is good to get a viewpoint from outside the situation.

  2. Speaking as a Brit, I wasn’t quite sure how to take this on first reading, but I think I get it. Maybe you guys have a more developed sense of irony and the utterly absurd than we gave you credit for.

    Would that this could become reality – that those who so vehemently defend their rights to bear arms against a government conspiracy, whilst virtually excusing the slaughter of schoolchildren as ‘one of those things’ – would that they could just have a big laugh and actually realise that their stance on arming everybody for the common good makes no sense whatsoever.

    People can bleat all they like about their constitutional rights, and attempt to dismiss the mass murder of innocent schoolchildren and their teachers as an aberration. They can draw comparisons with other countries and their crime statistics.

    The bottom line is that some kind of control is required in the USA. As things stand, all I ever hear from the pro-gun lobby is ME!ME! ME! I WILL NOT BE DICTATED TO!

    That’s fair enough, if you need personal protection against a rampaging grizzly bear, an alligator, or a bunch of homicidal psychopaths. But surely that doesn’t happen as often as we’re all led to believe by the scaremongers.

    I’m reasonably sure I’m preaching to the converted here, but surely one dead child is one too many.

    Moreso if that child happens to be yours.

    But then, I’m wasting my time on the good guys. The assholes will never listen.

    It really would be idyllic if we could all just have a laugh about it and forget our political differences. Sadly, that’ll never happen.

    Keep on doing the good stuff here at GN. It is appreciated.

    Even by us stuffy self righteous Brits.

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