Category: Society
FBI to Boost Recruitment, Remove Fitness Requirement
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to meet the growing diversity of the nation, the Department of Justice has announced changes to physical requirements for FBI special agents which will replace regular running with power walking. Current requirements for selection…
Dogs must reduce drug sniffing, says Supreme Court
“I don’t want no drug sniffing dogs around here,” said Ms. P. Innuckope (not her real name). “I got nuff trouble with human junkies without them bringing their pets.” Ms. Innuckope was one of many that were relieved when the…
Immigrants Hesitant, Lukewarm to Christian Traditions (Comic)
We all know what time of year it is, so without further ado, here’s our holiday installment. Click image to see it full-size.
107-Year-Old Woman Not That Same Sprightly 89-Year-Old She Used to Be
GOSHEN – Celebrating her 107th birthday recently, centenarian Gladys Cadwell admitted Friday that, by golly, she is not that same, zesty 89-year-old she once was. Waxing philosophical about those grand old times of 18 years ago, Cadwell conceded that she…
Learn Easter from Your Kids: Zombie Jesus Brings Gold (Video)
My kids attend weekly Awana meetings, where they learn about how letting people talk about Jesus can result in candy and prizes. For the true magic of Jesus, I had to share with them a bit of the practical side….
Report: Churches to Outnumber Christians by 2035
INDIANAPOLIS – According to a study conducted by the United States Census Bureau, the number of Churches located in Indiana is likely to become higher than the state’s total number of Christians by the year 2035. The findings, which were…
NRA’s LaPierre Holds America Hostage
Two narrowed eyes peeked out of the slats over the window that were already narrow enough by themselves. They gazed imperturbably at the scores of police and FBI agents that surrounded the NRA ranch estate in North Carolina. Those eyes…
Pope Francis to Allow Fellatio, Cunnilingus
Newly elected Pope Francis announced today that he will allow parishioners over the age of 50 the option of giving and receiving fellatio and cunnilingus to ensure “marital harmony and to enhance the sex lives of the faithful”. Ora sex…
Google Search For ‘Oscar Pistorius Murder Trial’ Evolves Into ‘Reeva Steenkamp Topless’
INDIANAPOLIS – During a routine navigation of the internet Friday, a local man’s Google search for the keywords “Oscar Pistorius murder trial” evolved over the course of 7 minutes into “Reeva Steenkamp Topless.” Initially looking to gain up-to-the-minute news on…
Area Control Freak Reports OCD Under Control
Don’t worry everybody–world-wide* acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/self-editor/self-writer/self-artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control. Apparently, he’s organized everything into a master calendar.