Categorized | Kidz Zone, Religionism

Learn Easter from Your Kids: Zombie Jesus Brings Gold (Video)

Learn Easter from Your Kids: Zombie Jesus Brings Gold (Video)

My kids attend weekly Awana meetings, where they learn about how letting people talk about Jesus can result in candy and prizes.

For the true magic of Jesus, I had to share with them a bit of the practical side.

Everyone has taught my kids about Easter. The zealots and thumper-types gave their take, Walmart runs ads with their take in heavy rotation, and I might have peppered in a few thoughts of my own.

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RIGHT: The two young stars of what I’m sure will be the future of Christian Easter education. Click photo to enlarge, but honestly, why?

Watch this video, and rather than teach your children about Easter, maybe you should just learn from them instead. I think they’ve got it nailed like Christ on a cross.

TL;DW – Some Highlights

– Jesus isn’t a god, but a zombie.
– God gets help from the bunnies.
– You don’t get “baskets”, but “buckets”.
– Apparently gold is an Easter staple.
– None of the Christian teachings made it through intact.


This post was written by

- who has written 541 posts on

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.


One Response to “Learn Easter from Your Kids: Zombie Jesus Brings Gold (Video)”

  1. Mike Kelly says:

    Do I get to eat the candy anyway?


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