Category: Science & Technologizzy
Video Game Makers Reach Around to Senior Citizens
As the video game industry continues to mature, game makers are scrambling to create the next generation of games designed specifically for a maturing demographics. You can give the older gamers a fancier avatar, but it’s a lot harder to…
New Dogfish Head Brew a Blatz from the Past
Delaware based brewery Dogfish Head has released the newest in its Ancient Ale Series to mixed reviews. Dogfish Head first re-created Midas Touch from residue found on 2700 year old pottery fragments discovered in a tomb in Turkey. And after…
Freedom Industries Explores Its Freedom to Pollute W. Virginia Waterways
Freedom Industries, the more-important-than-humans industry conveniently located next to the major river supplying water to nine counties of a rural portion of West Virginia, has contaminated the drinking, bathing, teeth brushing, clothes washing water of thousands of people with a…
31% Chance that Miley Cyrus Will Develop Frostbite During New Year’s Performance
New York, NY – Pop icon and cultural wrecking ball Miley Cyrus is scheduled to headline the festivities in Times Square, performing just before the ball drops to start the New Year. According to forecasters, the weather at midnight should…
Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want
Google came out with an innovative product at an amazing price. For just $35 you can get a clever HDMI device to plug into your Hi-Def TV to receive broadcast video from nearly any wireless device in your home. But…
78% of Radio Shack 1993 Catalog Is on Your Phone, but Better
I recently got to reminiscing of days gone by. When I was young, carefree, and studied the Radio Shack catalog even more religiously than religion, and I was religious. When I realized, all those gizmos and gadgets I so desperately…
Astronauts Bitch About Having to Work on Christmas Eve
Astronauts having to install a coolant pump outside NASA’s International Space Station on Christmas Eve had a few choice words about their employers. “I thought once you had a government job you never had to work on holidays again. Bull%&$#!!!”…
Oil Companies Have Reversed Idea Of The Spirit Of Christmas
Oil companies, some of the wealthiest entities on earth, have somehow a skewered idea of what Christmas is supposed to be about. This is due to their RAISING the price of gasoline for the holiday week instead of in the…
Ice Storm Victims learn Horrible True Meaning of Christmas
of Christmas. The ice storm has brought down thousands of large tree branches which knocked out power lines, causing power outages in the homes of over 200,000 Torontonians alone.
Starving Artists call the Internet a Vast Communist Conspiracy
Millions of underemployed or out-of-work citizens of Canada, Europe, and the United States took to the streets to protest the internet as a vast communist conspiracy. Moreover, many Westerners are flocking to China, praising its pervasive censorship of the internet…