Categorized | Environment, Health

Santa Gives China High-Sulfur Coal for Being Bad

Santa Gives China High-Sulfur Coal for Being Bad

Santa isn’t pulling any punches this Christmas.

China was bad. REAL bad.

Executing thousands of people for economic, social, political, drug crimes. Then selling their organs. Making the families of the deceased pay for the bullets.

Oppressing Tibetans and Uighurs and anyone else they happen to have under their thumbs.

Fighting with Japan over worthless islands.

Quarreling with India over borders.

Instigating Marxist agitation in Nepal.

Using its own people like slaves.

Santa doesn’t like these things.

He’s making a list and checking it twice
and he found out red China’s not nice.

So they are getting coal for Christmas. High sulfur content coal.

Lots of it. The type that makes you gag and puke. But you don’t know if that is worse than freezing to death.

The high sulfur coal is making mainland Chinese cities historically the worst air pollution ever recorded this month. People are dying from it and getting sick.

Chinese scientists are blaming it on the huge amount of pollution from factories, the increasing use of cars by ordinary citizens and the normal household usage of heating and cooking fuels due to the huge population that China has.

And a lot of it comes from burning coal. High sulfur coal. The kind that makes you sick.

Santa can be really mean when he wants to.

But where does China get its sulfur rich coal from? Us. That is the U.S. So if Santa gets his sulfurized coal for China from us, then maybe we can get some of the jobs and money back that we have lost to them over the years.

Or maybe we’ll just get cheap Chinese goods for presents.


This post was written by

- who has written 563 posts on

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial