Category: Science & Technologizzy
Santa Gives China High-Sulfur Coal for Being Bad
Santa isn’t pulling any punches this Christmas. China was bad. REAL bad. Executing thousands of people for economic, social, political, drug crimes. Then selling their organs. Making the families of the deceased pay for the bullets. Oppressing Tibetans and Uighurs…
Seattle’s narrow escape from the icy grip of winter
Whew! That was that a close call. There was a point earlier this week when I thought I might never see my kids again. Worse yet, I feared that my final blog post might be last week’s lame rant about…
Santa Claus finally sells out; cashes in
This Christmas, you might notice something a little different when you look up into the sky and see Santa and his reindeer in flight delivering presents to children all over the world. In an unprecedented partnership, global shipping giant FedEx®…
Theory Universe Just A Hologram “Really Messes With Peoples Heads”
An article in the Huffington Post (Science section, Dec. 12) titled ‘Is The Universe A Hologram? Physicists Say It’s Possible’ is causing queasiness amongst many in the world, especially those in a perpetual state of pot induced highness. Our intrepid…
“Old Man” Winter Relinquishes Control to Son Biff
Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff according to sources close to the personification of nature. Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late November and his…
Time Traveler Arrested for Killing His Grandfather
Josh Holbecker, a 25 year old time traveler from the year 2072, was arrested this morning after traveling back in time and killing his grandfather, 22-year-old Harvard graduate student Ernest Holbecker. Josh claims that his father, who has not yet…
Smart Phones Turn their Users into A#$holes, Researchers say
Dateline: BERKELEY– While many Americans are reeling from the news that the NSA is spying on their locations by tracking their mobile devices, social scientists are concerned about a more existential threat: those devices are turning people into a#$holes.
Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom
Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper. The main star of the television series ‘The Big Bang Theory’ has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter. He is…
WWII-Era Sub Found At 7-Eleven
O’AHU, HAWAII — Researchers in Hawaii have uncovered a World War II-era submarine sandwich inside the island’s only 7-Eleven store location. The sub, known in the early 1940s as a “Spam-n-Depression Special” is made up of mostly Spam, lettuce and…
Yuppies Demand That Science Classify Themselves Seperate Species
Yuppies, those demi-gods who live amongst us mere mortals do have a hard go of it. They, by their very existence, are refined creatures so much better than you or I who are mere mortals suckling the earth for survival….