Category: Science & Technologizzy
Freedom Industries Explores Its Freedom to Pollute W. Virginia Waterways
Freedom Industries, the more-important-than-humans industry conveniently located next to the major river supplying water to nine counties of a rural portion of West Virginia, has contaminated the drinking, bathing, teeth brushing, clothes washing water of thousands of people with a…
31% Chance that Miley Cyrus Will Develop Frostbite During New Year’s Performance
New York, NY – Pop icon and cultural wrecking ball Miley Cyrus is scheduled to headline the festivities in Times Square, performing just before the ball drops to start the New Year. According to forecasters, the weather at midnight should…
Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want
Google came out with an innovative product at an amazing price. For just $35 you can get a clever HDMI device to plug into your Hi-Def TV to receive broadcast video from nearly any wireless device in your home. But…
78% of Radio Shack 1993 Catalog Is on Your Phone, but Better
I recently got to reminiscing of days gone by. When I was young, carefree, and studied the Radio Shack catalog even more religiously than religion, and I was religious. When I realized, all those gizmos and gadgets I so desperately…
Astronauts Bitch About Having to Work on Christmas Eve
Astronauts having to install a coolant pump outside NASA’s International Space Station on Christmas Eve had a few choice words about their employers. “I thought once you had a government job you never had to work on holidays again. Bull%&$#!!!”…
Oil Companies Have Reversed Idea Of The Spirit Of Christmas
Oil companies, some of the wealthiest entities on earth, have somehow a skewered idea of what Christmas is supposed to be about. This is due to their RAISING the price of gasoline for the holiday week instead of in the…
Ice Storm Victims learn Horrible True Meaning of Christmas
of Christmas. The ice storm has brought down thousands of large tree branches which knocked out power lines, causing power outages in the homes of over 200,000 Torontonians alone.
Starving Artists call the Internet a Vast Communist Conspiracy
Millions of underemployed or out-of-work citizens of Canada, Europe, and the United States took to the streets to protest the internet as a vast communist conspiracy. Moreover, many Westerners are flocking to China, praising its pervasive censorship of the internet…
Santa Gives China High-Sulfur Coal for Being Bad
Santa isn’t pulling any punches this Christmas. China was bad. REAL bad. Executing thousands of people for economic, social, political, drug crimes. Then selling their organs. Making the families of the deceased pay for the bullets. Oppressing Tibetans and Uighurs…
Seattle’s narrow escape from the icy grip of winter
Whew! That was that a close call. There was a point earlier this week when I thought I might never see my kids again. Worse yet, I feared that my final blog post might be last week’s lame rant about…