Archive | Science & Technologizzy

Apple’s iOS 7 to Feature Impressive, Radically Redesigned Glitches

Apple’s iOS 7 to Feature Impressive, Radically Redesigned Glitches

CUPERTINO, CALIF — Apple recently unveiled the new iOS 7 operating system, which CEO Tim Cook is hailing as “the most radical redesign of iOS glitches since the iPhone was invented.”

According to Apple’s VP of Software Engineering, Leonard Umbrage, “Installing iOS 7 on your phone is like getting an entirely new phone, but one with which you’re already completely exasperated. It’s like an old friend with a new drug problem: truly astounding!” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

What Penguins Look Like on Casual Friday (comic)

What Penguins Look Like on Casual Friday (comic)

I Googled this before I drew it, and sure enough, there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot out there showing what penguins might look like out of their tuxedos. Turns out, at least according to my comic, that it’s because they don’t look terribly good that way. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Comics, Environment0 Comments

It’ll Take More Than A Lousy Thunderstorm to Stop Man Making Stupid Decision to Go Walking During A Thunderstorm

It’ll Take More Than A Lousy Thunderstorm to Stop Man Making Stupid Decision to Go Walking During A Thunderstorm

INDIANAPOLIS – Not content to just sit at home, local man Brian Caskey insists it’ll take more than this lousy-ass thunderstorm to prevent him from making the stupid and highly irresponsible decision to go walking during a thunderstorm.

Heading out to a grocery store in downtown Indianapolis Monday, Caskey was seen gesticulating upward to the gloomy skies, while crying out: “is this the best you can do?” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment1 Comment

Portland: Fluoride is the Least of Your Worries!

Portland: Fluoride is the Least of Your Worries!

In Portland, Oregon today, many citizens are worried about fluoride and its potential effects such that they have voted against its inclusion in their water supply four times in the last six decades. However, what Portlanders seem to be unaware of is the fact that fluoride seems fairly harmless in comparison to the range of chemicals ingested by humans on a daily basis. Continue reading>

Share

Posted in Health, Science12 Comments

WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, or Possibly Just Eczema

WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, or Possibly Just Eczema

DES MOINES, IOWA — It was reported earlier today that local farmer Henry Myopic “definitely [has] AIDS… or maybe eczema.”

The 73-year-old Myopic, who regularly checks the WebMD website in an effort to pinpoint his assorted ailments, was able to narrow his latest illness down to one of the two diseases after nearly an hour of careful research. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment0 Comments

NASA Locates 3 New Earth-like Planets That Could Theoretically Support Death

NASA Locates 3 New Earth-like Planets That Could Theoretically Support Death

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA — The NASA Program recently announced that their scientists have located three new Earth-like planets, each of which could theoretically support death.

According to NASA’s lead researcher Dr. Hans Von Gunn, “Using our Kepler satellite, we were able to track down a trio of planets not dissimilar to our own. Our hope is that some, if not all, of these planets may be able to support human life and, perhaps more importantly, our overwhelming desire to extinguish it at every chance we get.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science0 Comments

Report: 10% of Facebook Users Unaware Others Can See Their Posts

Report: 10% of Facebook Users Unaware Others Can See Their Posts

PALO ALTO, CALIF — In a recent Pew Research Center study, a reported 10% of Facebook users are oblivious to the fact that other people can see what they write.

The study alleges that of that 10% of naive morons, 50% are systematically confusing “statuses” with “private messages,” 35% are utterly uncertain about what a “facebook” is exactly, and the remaining 15% are simply illiterate. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Technology1 Comment

How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)

How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)

It’s a non-sequitur from the word “don’t go,” but apparently it’s been asked, so we’ll address it. How much do five hipsters weigh?

Surely this is the pressing question of our time, and one that deserves front-page news attention, even though it’s just a setup for a series of jokes at the expense of hipsters… well, at least they’re not real people. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Comics, Science1 Comment

“Rainbow” Comes Out as Heterosexual

“Rainbow” Comes Out as Heterosexual

In what is being hailed as the most highly viewed TV moment of all time, the Rainbow came out of the cosmic closet yesterday and announced on the Ellen Show that she is, in fact, a heterosexual.

For much of history, the inspiring optical phenomenon was assumed to be purely asexual. But then, since the 1970’s, everyone naturally assumed it had turned gay. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Society1 Comment

How the Scan-Tron Actually Got Its Name (comic)

How the Scan-Tron Actually Got Its Name (comic)

We’ve all been there. You had to use a #2 pencil, as if any other option was available at the store, and fill in the bubbles completely.

But do you know the origin of the test? Do you know how it actually got its name? The answer may surprise you.

The answer may also not surprise you. It’s kind of up to you.

This is a preface to tomorrow’s comic Myths No Match for Wikipedia, Despite Wikipedia.

39-scant-ron

Share

Posted in Comics, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Flood Warnings Issued After God Knocks Back 8 Cans of Miller Lite

Flood Warnings Issued After God Knocks Back 8 Cans of Miller Lite

INDIANAPOLIS – The national weather service has issued severe flood warnings across most of the Midwest ahead of this weekend, after His Lordship Almighty God went on a Friday night drinking binge.

According to heavenly sources, God – hosting a gathering of elite deities – knocked back eight cans of Miller Lite, as well as three glasses of complementary wine in a night of uncharacteristic abandon. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Religionism1 Comment

Why did the hipster boycott the solar eclipse? (comic)

Why did the hipster boycott the solar eclipse? (comic)

Kind of a hard thing to boycott, an act of nature such as that. I guess you can bury your head in the sand and just pretend it didn’t happen, but why would you? A question only a hipster could answer.

I boycott tampons. I don’t use them and I refuse to buy them. They’ll get none of my money… but a solar eclipse? What’s not to like about that? What’s even to debate about that? It either happens or it doesn’t, and it kind of does, boycott or no. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Comics, Science1 Comment

Arbor Day a Real Holiday, Many Celebrate (comic)

Arbor Day a Real Holiday, Many Celebrate (comic)

It makes sense. All you have to do to honor Arbor Day is plant some trees. It’s the day of trees, after all. Find a good spot with some sunshine, throw down a seedling, call it a day, right?

It turns out it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes, it turns out, you have to also obey the law and not get yourself arrested. Seems crazy, right? I mean, we’re just talking about trees, aren’t we? Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Comics, Environment1 Comment

The BRAIN Initiative: Obama’s Announcement

The BRAIN Initiative: Obama’s Announcement

Barack rubbed weakly at his temples, which were sore and rough to the touch. He breathed slowly, in and out, as he tried to focus his racing mind, burdened by the thoughts of millions.

He noticed through the window the slightest shift of light from the setting sun as he made his way to a makeshift podium, isolated and ready for him to make the announcement: one that would change humanity.

He was not yet used to the increased sensitivity to light and sound, the endless knowledge, or the frequent migraines and muscle aches that were to be expected, but still crippling. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Tatooine Womp Rat Believed Extinct

Tatooine Womp Rat Believed Extinct

Officials with the Tatooine Department of Wildlife announced today that the long imperiled womp rat is believed to be extinct in the wild. At not much bigger than two meters, womp rat numbers declined steadily since human settlement, mostly due to habitat loss as native desert was converted to moisture farms.

But it was the local practice of “bulls-eyeing” that finally pushed the species over the brink. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Science & Technologizzy2 Comments

Origin of Everything Is NOT Magical (comic)

Origin of Everything Is NOT Magical (comic)

There’s a lot of magical thinking going on these days, especially in America… but what if I told you that there are some fairly natural, reasonably well understood mechanisms for just about everything that has brought life to where it is today?

Well that’s the world we live in. You won’t hear about it in church, it’s counter to their millenia-old Bedouin urban legends and fairy tales.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

I spent 20-years in Bible study. I never learned one thing about science. Once doubt crept in, I spent about 10-hours straight on this novel little thing called “the internet” and I learned more about the Bible than I had in my whole life. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Comics, Science9 Comments

Page 10 of 28« First...89101112...20...Last »
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Check This Out!

ca-dress.com shop dresses online

Recommended Sportsbook MyBookie.ag

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial