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Even casual PayPal users vexed by PayPal’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad customer service

Even casual PayPal users vexed by PayPal’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad customer service

I’ve been a PayPal user for ages. If you mistake them for a bank, you do so at your peril, because they charge the highest fees, offer the lowest interest of all (zero, for the curious), and getting customer service is like trying to explain a card trick to Comcast over the phone.

Did I mention they are awful? Well, they are, and I’ll tell you why:

1. They pay ZERO interest. Back in the aughts, they paid money market rates for balances left on the account. They ended that around 2008, so any money you leave in PayPal is literally losing value, as inflation happens every day, thus the deflation of your funds happens every day that you leave it with PayPal.

2. You could have a million dollars in there and they won’t give you the degree of customer service you can get from your neighborhood banker with an overdrawn account. Back in the aughts my entire salary went through PayPal. I commonly had $30,000-40,000 in my account, but they wouldn’t give me the time of day any more than some random hacker who just stole a credit card and put in $5 off a prepaid Visa.

3. There’s NO phone number to call. If you want to find it, you have to go to Google. You can spend an hour roaming around the site looking for it, but you’ll never find it. But magically you type it into Google and 1/1000th of a second later, there it is.

4. Despite having a 15-plus year account in universally good standing, they ship your call off to India, assuming you can find the call number, where you’ll be bounced around, as I was, for over an hour. The first rep told me she’d fix it and it would be no problem, the second rep told me she had no idea what I was talking about. Both of them told me to try my transaction again, which failed as it did the first time.

Seriously, PayPal. Do you want our money or not? You charge the highest transactional fees in the business. I’m not sure if you’re too greedy, too stupid or just too indifferent to actually take my money.

I got permission to record the calls, so I’ll be posting them soon, but I promised Carla I’d share this, so it would be wrong of me not to.

Seriously, PayPal, make like Summer and get your shit together. Well then get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together… Get your shit together.

UPDATE: After hours on the phone, I’ve been told my issue CANNOT be resolved, but they offered me a workaround which may or may not work. My confidence is limited. I’m taking my business elsewhere and you should consider doing the same.

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This post was written by

- who has written 506 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.

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3 Responses to “Even casual PayPal users vexed by PayPal’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad customer service”

  1. i got the entire story from the title, no need to read the whole article. basically, the writer is saying paypal sucks, he had a bad experience with them, and that they still suck. nothing new here.

  2. Philip Cohen says:

    Notwithstanding the otherwise constant stream of disingenuous and delusional nonsense that flows from eBay/PayPal, the share price history of these two clunky operators demonstrates the reality:

    Aug 2007: (pre John Donahoe) EBAY ~$40; AMZN ~$40;
    Jul 2015 (pre eBay-PayPal split): EBAY ~$66; AMZN ~$480;
    Jul 2015 (post-split): EBAY ~$28; PYPL ~$37; AMZN ~$530;
    Recently: EBAY ~$24; PYPL ~$37; AMZN ~$743—LOL …

    PayPal is standing still, and eBay has for years been effectively going backwards—at a steady rate of knots.

    Notwithstanding the "spin-off" of PayPal from eBay, eBay and "PreyPal" remain effectively joined at the hip—for at least the next five years—and anyone that thinks otherwise is simply uninformed; and, thanks to a continuation of most of the destructive policies introduced over the eight year reign (2007–2015) of the "Pain from Bain", John Joseph Donahoe II, the eBay marketplace is continuing on its slow journey down the toilet; nevertheless, during Johnny Ho's occupation of the eBay corner office, this cretin and his gang of hand-picked Keystone Kops still managed to obtain for themselves massive, unearned, "performance" bonuses—while the company's "long" shareholders received not one penny.

    PayPal is a clunky, non-bank-licensed (except in Luxembourg), non-deposit-insured, virtually non-regulated, "pretend" bank; a higher fee-charging payments intermediary that, in the main, rides on the back of the world's banks' existing payments systems, with no formal agreement with those banks other than PayPal's operating of a credit card merchant account facility with, and the making of direct debits/credits on some users' bank accounts via, one of those real banks.

    PayPal is, in its own words, "a merchant of sorts"; it is not a licensed "bank"; virtually everything that "PreyPal" does is done via "marketing" arrangements with licensed financial institutions—for example, look for the identity of the actual credit provider (in the micro print) on their credit providing instruments.

    Merchants' funds received via "PreyPal" are at risk of being subjected to lengthy arbitrary holds; $18 billion of users' funds left "on deposit" with the PayPal faux "bank" are not FDIC deposit-insured. Even more perilous (for PayPal's shareholders), the great majority of PayPal's business originates from its (still) effectively mandated place on the eBay marketplace, so it logically follows that—with the destructive Johnny Ho-Ho-Ho now sitting at the head of the PayPal boardroom table—"PreyPal" will undoubtedly be accompanying eBay on its journey to the sewage farm.

    The reality is, PayPal's parasitic, higher fee-charging payments operation has little long-term future—outside of its mandated place on the atrophying eBay marketplace—now that professional online/mobile payments offerings from MasterCard ("MasterPass") and Visa ("Visa Checkout") are available to any online merchant that has (or can obtain) a credit card merchant account with a real bank.

    With respect particularly to "mobile" payments, notwithstanding Apple Pay's disappointing initial showing, methinks Apple Pay, Samsung Pay, Android Pay, "MasterPass", and "Visa Checkout", that is, those entities that have formal relationships with the world's retail banks and MasterCard/Visa, will soon enough bury PayPal's parasitic operation.

    PayPal users should never give PayPal an authority to direct debit their bank accounts; PayPal should only ever be given access to funds via a real-bank credit card account; that way your credit card-issuing bank will be the final arbiter of any transaction dispute; further, by using PayPal you forego the usual statutory protections that apply to credit card transactions. Conversely, sellers should never accept payment via PayPal for goods that are going to be picked up by the buyer; PayPal offers sellers zero protection from scammers in such circumstances.

    PayPal is effectively a "pay day" lender. In May 2015, PayPal was fined $10 million over its “Bill Me Later” service, in part for unfairly charging some customers deferred-interest fees. The company was also required to return $15 million to consumers who used the service, which is now called PayPal Credit.

    And if anyone thinks that the clunky "PreyPal" is any more scrupulous than eBay—given their equally poor customer service and lack of any mediation of transaction disputes by human beings, which effectively results in a hard-wired bias towards buyers/payers that they now necessarily have to pander to—good luck to all you small online merchants who may get burned in the process.

    For a detailed analysis of the ugly reality of eBay’s demonstrable, calculated, facilitation of endemic shill bidding fraud on consumers on its auctions marketplace, Google "Shill Bidding on eBay: Case Study #5"

    Goodbye clunky PayPal—it's not been nice knowing you—Google "Retail Payments: The Reality" …

  3. Philip Cohen, some interesting ideas there. In my opinion, it might be worth putting those into a full article? Let me know if you are interested in trying that, and we can see what Brian thinks too!

    Wallace (Glossy News).

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