Posted in Celebrity Gossip Politics Top Stories

Glossy News Exclusive: Plans for Trump National “Library” Already Underway

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News Exclusive: Plans for Trump National “Library” Already Underway
Hate speech
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Politics

Voters to Presidential Candidates: “Get Back to Work… You’re a Year Early!”

Everywhere, USA- Fresh of the heels of the first round of debates among Democratic Presidential hopefuls, and the “official” launch of President Donald Trumps re-election campaign, it appears the 2020 Presidential Campaign is in full swing. On the Democratic side,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Voters to Presidential Candidates: “Get Back to Work… You’re a Year Early!”
GOP
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Senate Republicans Blame Dems for Failed Budget Negotiations with White House

Washington, DC- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) lashed out at Senate Democrats today, after his fellow Republicans failed to reach an agreement on a long term military funding bill with White House negotiators, resulting in a reported physical altercation…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Senate Republicans Blame Dems for Failed Budget Negotiations with White House
Posted in Politics

Hot Off The Press… Oops, Census Citizenship Question Remains!

Washington, DC- Fresh off a Supreme Court ruling which temporarily banned a citizenship question from appearing on the 2020 Census, U.S. Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross confirmed to members of the media on Tuesday that the government printing presses had…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hot Off The Press… Oops, Census Citizenship Question Remains!
President Putin
Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

SPACE PIRATE PUTIN Dumps Nuclear Treaty with America… Trump Buzzing, Whole World Fuzzing!

Moscow, RU- On Wednesday, rugged Russian President and self-styled hyper-masculine space pirate Vladimir Putin signed a bill that officially withdrew Russia from the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty (IRNFoT); bringing to an end, the end of the Cold War. It…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! SPACE PIRATE PUTIN Dumps Nuclear Treaty with America… Trump Buzzing, Whole World Fuzzing!
Toilet
Posted in Entertainment Politics

RUSH LIMBAUGH BLUNDER! “Drinking Toilet Water a Step Up For Migrants… & it Tastes Great!

Palm Beach, FL- Conservative firebrand and longtime hate addict, Rush Limbaugh, managed to get the attention of non-right wing extremists on Tuesday, when he made a series of potentially racist comments regarding a congress woman, and detainees housed at a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! RUSH LIMBAUGH BLUNDER! “Drinking Toilet Water a Step Up For Migrants… & it Tastes Great!
Trump Pence
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Entertainment

James Cameron Announces “New” New Terminator Movie

Wairarapa, New Zealand- On Thursday, famed filmmaker and professional submarine pilot James Cameron announced plans to reboot his Terminator franchise, after rabid fan boys pushed back against the trailer of his long awaited sequel to T2: Judgement Day, Terminator: Dark…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! James Cameron Announces “New” New Terminator Movie
Posted in Top Stories War Zone

Iran to US: “Thanks for the New Drone Tech!”

Washington, DC- On Thursday evening, moments before he was to order an air strike against Iran, President Donald Trump received a letter of thanks from the President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani, for sharing the latest in American drone technology, after…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Iran to US: “Thanks for the New Drone Tech!”
Posted in Politics Top Stories

More Fucking LIES: President Denies His Re-Election Campaign Started in 2017!!!

Orlando, FL- The script read almost exactly the same… minus the “rapists.” The expired, irrelevant chants of “Lock her up,” rang out from the frenzied mob, blissfully unconcerned by the absolute silliness of the scene. They had waited for days…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! More Fucking LIES: President Denies His Re-Election Campaign Started in 2017!!!
Posted in Human Interest Society Top Stories

Millennial Children Demand Parents Pay for Relocation As Tensions In the Gulf Grow

Salem, OR- As tensions between the United States and Iran continue to flare after the latest attack on an American drone, more and more millennial children are demanding that Mom and Dad pay to send them away before war is…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Millennial Children Demand Parents Pay for Relocation As Tensions In the Gulf Grow
Harriet Tubman note
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20

Washington, DC- On Thursday, Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, announced he had scrapped plans to release an updated $20 bill featuring the likeness of famed American abolitionist Harriet Tubman, sighting security issues with the design. The new bill had…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20
Posted in Politics Top Stories

WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!

Washington, DC- On Friday, during a wild interview with Fox and Fiends host Ainsley Earhardt, President Donald Trump openly challenged House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to begin Articles of Impeachment, repeatedly challenged the House Speaker’s “manhood,” discussed the Art of the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!
Posted in Society

By the Grace of Sean (Bad Poetry for Bad Media)

Bellicose, via mega phone, go… Secure your homes, Holmes, Cause you’re all alone, Jones All the skin and bones talk, All them victims criss-crossed… With their children en tow… They tried to cross the road!   By the grace of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! By the Grace of Sean (Bad Poetry for Bad Media)
Posted in Politics Top Stories

McCain Gives “Thanks” From The Grave

Annapolis, MD- On Friday morning, former POW, Senator, and one-time Republican Party Presidential nominee John McCain, threw the world into a frenzy, when he rose from his grave, to apparently address comments made by President Donald “John” Trump, earlier this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! McCain Gives “Thanks” From The Grave
Posted in Crime Health

New AG Barr to Charge “Oxy Doc” with 200,000 Counts of Manslaughter

Washington, DC – A spokesperson for recently confirmed US Attorney General William Barr, acknowledged on Saturday, plans by the US Attorneys office to file 200,000 counts of manslaughter against Purdue Pharma executive, Dr. Richard Sackler, whose most popular product, OxyContin,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New AG Barr to Charge “Oxy Doc” with 200,000 Counts of Manslaughter
Posted in Politics Television

Glossy News Exclusive: Sean Hannity’s Secret… That Everybody Already Knows

Washington, DC- For most Americans, Sean Hannity is known as a fiery conservative mouth piece who nightly uses his influence to stoke the fires of division, with the subtlety and nuance of a sloppy wet fart. But behind those pearly…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News Exclusive: Sean Hannity’s Secret… That Everybody Already Knows
Business leader
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Society

Cake Monster and His Creamy Lips

Leaders of the planet: Eaters of Golden Filigree accented treats. (They ask) “Who the hell needs to eat? We could all stand to lose… a couple L Bs.” With the butternut creme

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Cake Monster and His Creamy Lips
Posted in Human Interest Society

One Family’s Intolerance Toward Intolerance

Orange County, CA- “My grandfather was bald, so was his Da… so is mine,” Jake Collins tells me as he runs a tattooed hand across his shiny pink scalp. “It’s kinda a family trait, like diabetes, quick tempers, and tattoos,”…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! One Family’s Intolerance Toward Intolerance
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Build A WALL… And Crime Will FALL (Bring Our Lost Jobs Back)

Authors note: Ghost-written for the Prez.   The Rapists stand, Right behind the gates. They’re looking for breaks In the links of chain.  

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Build A WALL… And Crime Will FALL (Bring Our Lost Jobs Back)
Science fiction scientology
Posted in Science Technology

Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!

Moreauville, LA-  “I was heading up State Route 1 from Baton Rouge, after visiting my sister and her kids. It was getting pretty late, and I’d had a couple of brews before I’d left, so when I seen the bright…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!
Posted in Crime Politics

Glossy News Exclusive Leak! ‘Rudy Giuliani Defense’ Finally Revealed!

Washington, DC- After months of seemingly incoherent and contradictory explanations, including this weekends bombshell revelation by the Presidents personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, who admitted in a televised interview on Sunday, that President Donald Trump had ongoing contact with Vladimir Putin-connected…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News Exclusive Leak! ‘Rudy Giuliani Defense’ Finally Revealed!
Posted in Music Opinion/Editorial

American Cow Pie

Authors Note: This is a Parody of Don Mclean’s Classic American Pie. I wrote this during the financial crisis at the beginning of the Obama Administration. It’s interesting to look back at how much has changed, and yet, how little…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! American Cow Pie
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Top Stories

Partisan Significance

The system’s broke, Nobody’s interested in fixing it. What a fucking joke, They’re either sycophants or hypocrites. The vitriol you spoke, Evoked partisan belligerence. Highlighting our differences Driving a wedge in between.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Partisan Significance
Donald Trump
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Ann Coulter Grants Trump Permission to Reopen Federal Government… Finally.

Washington, DC- Political pundit, and current Trump Administration Minister of All Things Policy, Ann Coulter, granted President Donald Trump permission to end the federal government shutdown on Thursday, claiming she was bored with the lack of progress achieved after another…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ann Coulter Grants Trump Permission to Reopen Federal Government… Finally.
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Trump’s Government Shutdown: EXCLUSIVE Glossy News Expose of Previously Unknown Discussions!

Washington, DC- Previously censored footage has thrown some light on the recent shutdown decision, and on the deliberations made beforehand.  First, the White House announced that President Donald Trump was unhappy about the latest Continued Resolution (CR), passed by Congress…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump’s Government Shutdown: EXCLUSIVE Glossy News Expose of Previously Unknown Discussions!
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Rand Paul Wants To Join Senators Grassley And McConnell In Game of Russian Roulette

Washington, DC- On Monday, Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-IA) challenged Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) to a duel for leadership of the Senate, after the Majority leader declined to hold a vote on bipartisan legislation aimed at…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Rand Paul Wants To Join Senators Grassley And McConnell In Game of Russian Roulette
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mark Meadows Vows House Freedom Caucus Will Support Wall Funding

Senator Explains There Are “Other Options” To Sink This Bill (And All Others Like It) Washington, DC- House Freedom Caucus(HFC) Chairman Mark Meadows (R-NC) told reporters that members of the HFC would not block President Trump’s request for an additional…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mark Meadows Vows House Freedom Caucus Will Support Wall Funding
Posted in Politics World News

Trump Declares USMCA Funds Border Wall… Trudeau Disagrees

Buenos Aires, Argentina- On Friday, leaders from the United States, Mexico, and Canada formally endorsed the United States- Mexico- Canada Agreement (USMCA) before a packed house at the G-20 Summit. On Monday, US President Donald Trump declared political victory via…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump Declares USMCA Funds Border Wall… Trudeau Disagrees
Posted in Entertainment Sports Sports Scandals

Redskins Owner Won’t Rule Out Signing Kareem Hunt

Washington, DC- On Monday, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder refused to rule out signing former Kansas City Chiefs Running back, Kareem Hunt, after he was released by his team on Friday. Hunt was a standout star for the AFC leading…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Redskins Owner Won’t Rule Out Signing Kareem Hunt
Posted in Politics

Silence of the Intel: Bob Goodlatte Afraid Comey Could be the Next Strzok

Washington, DC- In an interview with Fox News on Friday, House Judiciary Committee Chair Bob Goodlatte (R-VA) indicated he was not open to interviewing former FBI Director James Comey in a public hearing, citing fears that such action may sway…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Silence of the Intel: Bob Goodlatte Afraid Comey Could be the Next Strzok