Food Network Show Hosts Arrested in Food Fight

New York, NY – The set of the Food Network’s annual “Ho-Ho-Home for the Holidays Christmas Spectacular” looked more like Hell’s Kitchen than the happy holidays venue it was originally designed to portray last Thursday when a fight broke out between two of the top hosts.  Eggs, flour, heavy whipping cream and blood were spattered everywhere.  New York’s finest were called to the set after several attempts by the camera crew to get the hosts of the show to simmer down were met with more violence. Read more Food Network Show Hosts Arrested in Food Fight

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O’Reilly Interviews God, Tells Him To ‘Shut Up’

In a controversial incident on Fox News, Bill O’Reilly was interviewing God, asking how the Almighty could come to allow the Democrats to run both the Senate and White House. During God’s attempt to explain that he had to be fair to all sides, O’Reilly got peeved when God started to explain the Democrats point of view and constantly interrupted Him. Midway through the show O’Reilly blew his stack and told God to “Shut up!” Read more O’Reilly Interviews God, Tells Him To ‘Shut Up’

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Sarah Palin’s Modus Transportation Operandi

Let’s refocus here, people. Just because a couple of wingnuts crashed a party in Washington, and some athlete, who shall remain nameless, crashed his pretty car and admitted to a few indiscretions; or, just because our President kinda let us think he was gonna do something really brave and order the withdrawal of troops from an unwinnable war but instead decided, what the hell, let’s give it one more go on the taxpayer’s dime. Let’s not lose sight of the really important news that went from front page to page 9 a little too quickly–Sarah Palin’s bogus bus tour. Read more Sarah Palin’s Modus Transportation Operandi

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Google–Huffington: “Murdoch=Faux Journeaux”

Washington, DC — Escalating the battle between traditional newspapers and online news providers, Google Inc. and a list of other Web news aggregate companies Tuesday, publicly accused Rupert Murdoch and his Newscorp chain of “solely and irresponsibly looting news articles of their unbiased truth. Thereby creating, out of whole cloth, the paper news industry’s decline.” Read more Google–Huffington: “Murdoch=Faux Journeaux”

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Poorly Written Internet Content: the Best Entertainment?

Reading websites has become my new hobby. I get more entertainment from them than any television show or movie I could be watching. There is a plethora of ill-written–to the point of comical–content, and sadly a paucity of well-written, attention-worthy content. But hey, maybe it’s just me. You be the judge. Here are a few tidbits I found while surfing websites offering limo services in the South Florida area. Who knew hiring a limo for a wedding could be so much fun? Read more Poorly Written Internet Content: the Best Entertainment?

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Tiger Woods: the New OJ Simpson?

Tiger Woods, in a typical display of celebrity pout and unqualified arrogance, continues to refuse to be interviewed by police officers investigating the five mile per hour catastrophic vehicle accident that occurred directly outside his exclusive suburban Egoville mansion near Orlando, Florida when his Cadillac Escalade SUV was in a series of collisions with a #9 iron golf club. Read more Tiger Woods: the New OJ Simpson?

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Turn on the Wong Street to See Historic Fire Lookout

If you’re ever in up-city Helena, Montana and think you might be lost, there’s a good chance you are, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t good things to see. By “up-city” I really mean “up-hill” and I know because even though we found a cool little park to revive us, we were already worn down by our uphill trek. Read more Turn on the Wong Street to See Historic Fire Lookout

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Lloyd’s of London Insures Adam Lambert’s Crotch for $1 Million

Los Angeles, CA – Lloyd’s of London (Lloyd’s), perhaps best known for its unusual insurance policies on various body parts of the rich and famous, including Tina Turner’s legs, Celine Dion’s vocal chords, and burlesque stripper, Tempest Storm’s breasts, has just announced that it has contracted with singer Adam Lambert to insure Lambert’s crotch for $1 Million Dollars. Read more Lloyd’s of London Insures Adam Lambert’s Crotch for $1 Million

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Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay

Learning that his middle daughter was jonesing to go to Columbia University, Glenn Beck refused to pay for her tuition, stating “if you want to attend some hippie, liberal, communist center of lower learning in the middle of freaking Harlem, you won’t be doing it on my dime, sweetheart.” Read more Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay

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As Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t

NEVADA – It’s no secret that the U.S. economy is not in the best of shape. Between the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the credit crunch, the soaring price of oil and the weak dollar, times are tough and getting tougher all the time.

But until now it’s only affected us in minor ways, a foreclosed home here, a family unable to afford gasoline and groceries there, maybe the occasional collapse of the automotive and financial industries. Nothing to get your panties in a twist over. Read more As Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t

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White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’

US Secret Service agents today refused to be interviewed by Jacko McScrunt, – the Scallies and Yobs page columnist for the International Daily Shitraker – who was investigating reports that a couple of scumbag social climbers trespassed last night’s state dinner at the White House – with the SS office simply issuing the singular dismissive statement that the matter was ‘secret’. Read more White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’

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Rogue Nation Throws Up a Little in Own Mouth

Fired up by Sarah Palin’s bestseller, Going Rogue, a grassroots movement appears to be taking root, one that embraces Ms. Palin’s style, her way of speaking, and her insistence on being an individual.

“We’re selling a complete rogue package for the holiday season,” says Lou Hoggert, manager of merchandizing for Wal-Mart. “For $26.99, you get Sarah’s book, a flag pin, and a stuffed pig wearing lipstick.” Read more Rogue Nation Throws Up a Little in Own Mouth

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Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

The nominees for the upcoming AVN Adult Video awards were released today, and in surprising move, the Adult Academy has nominated President Obama for Best Male Performer.

It should be noted that the president is receiving the nomination without performing a single on-screen thrust, causing considerable controversy within the industry. Dick Ironrod, who is also nominated for the award, expressed concerns that Obama had the requisite experience. Read more Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

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Depp Pirates Another Sexy Global Victory

Hollywood CA — People Magazine has ruled — Depp won! Pirates Beat Vampires! was the header online — with an eye-popping 6.3 million total votes cast! Johnny Depp, mid-40s, is the World’s Sexiest Man!

Who were the contenders, aside from Loser Vampire Pattinson? —who took down a mere 2.3 million votes for second place. Well, in a twist of fun the editors of PM said they wanted the voting to be “like super” in 2009 so they threw in some real difficult votables to pass up. Read more Depp Pirates Another Sexy Global Victory

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Conservatives Disappointed w/ Palin Book: Thought “Going Rogue” Referred to Wearing Underwear

New York, NY: Legions of former Alaska Governor, Sara Palin, supporters reacted with disappointment with her new tell all book, “Going Rogue,” according to national opinion polls. The poll of approximately 5,000 self identified conservatives showed that while 52% “enjoyed the book,” and “agreed with its message and goals for America.” However, a whopping 87% expressed “disappointment” in that “the book failed to deliver what they expected to see.” Read more Conservatives Disappointed w/ Palin Book: Thought “Going Rogue” Referred to Wearing Underwear

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