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Adam Lambert Spelled Backwards is Difficult to Pronounce

Adam Lambert Spelled Backwards is Difficult to Pronounce

Most people have not taken the time to wonder what would happen if you spelled Adam Lambert’s name backwards. Mostly because it doesn’t really spell anything. Trebmal Mada may be a word in a foreign language. It could translate to ‘working giant jungle cat.’ We simply do not know. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip14 Comments

Amy Winehouse Found Dead – Rock N Roll Claims Another Casualty

Amy Winehouse Found Dead – Rock N Roll Claims Another Casualty

It’s been revealed that British R&B diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her Camden Town flat in north west London. At this point, there has been no confirmed cause of death, but some speculators are of the opinion that alcohol and/or drugs may have been a contributory factor.

They’re probably right.

Poor Amy, who sang so passionately that she didn’t want to go to rehab, may still have been alive if she’d given the rehab another shot. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Top Stories10 Comments

Obama Looking for New Court Jester After Kal Penn Resigns

Obama Looking for New Court Jester After Kal Penn Resigns

Comedy actor, Kal Penn, announced that he is leaving his gig working for the White House in the Office of Public Engagement to return to television. Some of you will remember Penn from his role on the television series House, others may remember him from the movie Harold and Kumar. However, only one or two of you, up until this story broke, even knew Kumar, err Penn worked in the White House Office of Public Engagement. And fewer still knew he was Obama’s personal Court Jester. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment1 Comment

Rupert Murdoch Hands Out Free Puppies as Apology to Brits

Rupert Murdoch Hands Out Free Puppies as Apology to Brits

The scandal involving Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World is spreading to Murdoch’s other holdings and some say it could spell doom for his News Corporation empire.

Realizing immediately that his newspaper apology was doing nothing to quell the anger rising exponentially across the globe against himself and his clan, the media mogul decided it was time to bring out the big guns to fight the onslaught of criticism.

Murdoch has reportedly bought 1,000 adorable puppies of some of the cutest breeds around, including English Bulldogs, Yorkshire Terriers, and Shih Tzus, and he has personally taken it upon himself to pass the puppies out at news conferences to his accusers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Books, Newspapers & Misc1 Comment

Palin and Bachman Go Mano-A-Mano in Nude Mud Wrestling Fundraiser

Palin and Bachman Go Mano-A-Mano in Nude Mud Wrestling Fundraiser

Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman bared all in a girl’s all-nude wrestling match to raise money for the Republican Party’s ‘Go For The Gold’ Presidential race. The girls decided they would put their greatest ‘ass’-ets out in public for the greater good of their party.

Having chosen to be patriotic and volunteer my services as towel boy and official mud-putter-onner, I was able to get close to the candidates (real close) while helping them during their fund raiser. (I might note here that it wasn’t just funds that were getting raised during the performance.) Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Politics17 Comments

Free Walmart Bingo Generator Game Released

Free Walmart Bingo Generator Game Released

Forget those underpowered, overpriced apps that promise you a fun game of Walmart Bingo, the FunnyHitman brings you one that’s even better, and best of all, it’s free to view, free to print and free to use as you laugh your inexpensive suburban socks off. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Strange People1 Comment

Oceanic Airline to Charge for Existential Angst

Oceanic Airline to Charge for Existential Angst

Los Angeles – GlossyNews.com – Oceanic Airlines has announced plans to institute a surcharge ranging from $5.00 to $57.50 for passengers transporting books which exhibit existential angst, says company spokesperson Macine Galvertson.

“In the future a hefty surcharge will be levied upon those passengers transporting heavy works of philosophy on board our airplanes,” she says. “In particular, passengers bringing onboard works of extreme existential angst will be subject to surcharges, the exact amount depending upon the particular philosophical work in question.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, Travel0 Comments

Conspiracy Theorists Sue Esquire For Implying Faked Moon Landing Book a Hoax

Conspiracy Theorists Sue Esquire For Implying Faked Moon Landing Book a Hoax

OUTER SPACE – Conspiracy theorists Joseph Farah, publisher of World Nut Daily, and Jerome Corsi, author of the best selling book Capricorn One: NASA, JFK, and the Great ‘Moon Landing’ Cover-Up, are suing the magazine Esquire, its parent company Hearst Communications, and the article’s writer Mark Warren, for implying that Corsi’s book is a hoax and, therefore, being pulled from the shelves. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity

Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity

A new study by the Millennial Institute of Advanced Research on 2150 newborn babies in Minnesota has found a significant increase in IQ scores of babies forced to listen to old ABBA songs at least two hours a day.

“This is a surprising result,” notes chief scientist Riley Ruster, “as ABBA tunes were actually tested on the babies by mistake. We intended to test Bach on them but the research assistant misread our specification of `Bach’ for `ABBA.’ By this serendipitous route we have achieved a remarkable breakthrough.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Music1 Comment

Making of a Prose Poem: Staggeringly Blasé Reviews

Making of a Prose Poem: Staggeringly Blasé Reviews

A young, aimless writer. A format no one cared about. The words everyone has to look up in an online dictionary. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be an unknown poet, this is the poem you need to ignore. Critics are raving about the new prose poem that everyone is calling the most boring event of the year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc4 Comments

Elderly Pensioner OD’s on LOST DVD Box Set

Elderly Pensioner OD’s on LOST DVD Box Set

Akron, Ohio – GlossyNews.com – Ralph McFarden spent thirty years in the Sacramento sewer system. The waste engineer reportedly had a long and satisfying career with the Akron Waste Management Department before finally retiring to his modest home overlooking the North Akron Shopping Plaza last Monday. But fate had a nasty trick up its sleeve for this quiet pensioner. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Television0 Comments

Meghan Duam is Smrt

Meghan Duam is Smrt

In a recent column in the LA Times, writer Meghan Daum explained to America that anytime President Obama stumbles over his words, it’s because of an “intellectual stammer.” Needless to say, doctors were amazed that they had missed this diagnosis and quickly had it added to medical books for validity.

The AMA presented Meghan with an award, and congratulated her on successfully managing to diagnose a person she’s never met personally with a, previously thought, non-existent condition. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics2 Comments

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