Archive | Entertainment

David Letterman’s Top-10 Countdown to Adultery Absolution

David Letterman’s Top-10 Countdown to Adultery Absolution

Alleged philanderer David Letterman has recently found himself at the losing end of an extortion/cover-up of his extra-extra-extra marital affairs having taken place between himself and an undisclosed, but presumably impressive, number of his female staff members. Continue Reading

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Real ‘District 9’ Nigeria Laments Sucking So Much

Real ‘District 9’ Nigeria Laments Sucking So Much

Nigeria’s hapless basket case government went into total bonkers format this week by demanding cinemas across the African continent, Europe, Asia and the Americas stop showing the recently-released science fiction film ‘District Nine’. Continue Reading

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Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

A family of dodgy Balkan refugees who tried to lure back a lost dog by leaving a trail of their own urine around the streets near their home have been criticised by the town council as a bunch of irresponsible pisspots. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology0 Comments

Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband

Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband

BT’s wholly exaggerated 8 Mb/s broadband service promised to unite the world with super-fast data delivery – but across Britain it seems their web connection speed is markedly slower than a humble carrier pigeon. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Roman Polanski Granted Amnesty for Genius, Survival

Roman Polanski Granted Amnesty for Genius, Survival

Roman Polanski, acclaimed film director, holocaust survivor, and unfortunate lover of an underage girl was granted international amnesty by the United Nations Friday morning. Decades of brilliant films once religated to languish the waste-lands of B-movie europe can once again be bastardized by the big budgets of the very big screen. Continue Reading

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UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3

UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3

In a real-life enactment of the horror movie Final Destination 3 two carriages on a giant roller coaster ride collided at the UK’s Slagpool Pleasure Beach yesterday when one of them became jammed on the rails through an accumulation of pigeon shit and a total lack of maintenance and axle grease. Continue Reading

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Quangos Blackball Everyday English Phrases

Quangos Blackball Everyday English Phrases

In a further attempt to prove beyond all reasonable doubt that the World has gone totally tits-up barmy dozens of UK quangos and unleashed taxpayer-funded organisations have ordered a purge of common words and phrases so as not to cause offence to any fucker or their dog ” or cat ” whatever ” and put the Oxford English Dictionary in the library shelves archive section marked ” “offensive and redundant” then throw up a big Sieg Heil salute to Common Purpose. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Arkansas Mum Has 19th Nervous Breakdown

Arkansas Mum Has 19th Nervous Breakdown

Bobbie-Joe Muffitch from Twattown, Arkansas, is expecting her 19th new arrival in March next year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Television1 Comment

NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late

NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late

The National Health Service has apologised after writing to a man to address various concerns over his hospital medical treatment – three-and-half years after he kicked the bucket and went aloft to join the Choir Invisible. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Strange People, Television0 Comments

Darth Cheney Memoirs Basis for FOX-TV Reality Show

Darth Cheney Memoirs Basis for FOX-TV Reality Show

UNDISCLOSED, DELAWARE – Former VP Dick “Darth” Cheney announced today that he has retained the Trump Organization and The Donald as co-executive producers of his new “Memoirs” reality show to air on Fox this fall. Continue Reading

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Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

Chicago – In a widely anticipated appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton offered her sympathy to Jenny Sanford, the wife of admitted adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. To the audience’s surprise, Mrs. Clinton then addressed nagging questions about her own marriage to Bill Clinton. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Human Interest, Politics2 Comments

Palin Insists on Keeping Media Wounds Open, Media Reciprocates

Palin Insists on Keeping Media Wounds Open, Media Reciprocates

One-time underdog beauty pageant contestant and VP candidate Sarah Palin had a rocky, some might rightly say unfair, relationship with the media during her short-lived aspiration to the second-highest office in the land. Instead of simply promoting herself, she’s picking at fresh scabs earned in battle against the media, mainstream and otherwise, seemingly unaware that the media still holds the same worldwide sway they did during her storied run, and that they still don’t much care for her or her unusual antics. Continue Reading

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Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick

Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick

Billy Bob Thornton is an Oscar winning writer and Oscar nominated actor, though he’s perhaps best known for his position as the one-time daddy figure husband of Angelina Jolie. He’s also known by literally hundred of the world’s citizens as the powerhouse behind the hillbilly fusion band “The Boxmasters”. Following a particularly humiliating interview on CBC’s Radio Show “Q”, The Boxmasters have been booed off stage and canceled the balance of their Canada tour. Not because of the music, mind you, but because of something much worse. Continue Reading

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Matrix Made Keanu Reeves 1/3rd Billionaire

Matrix Made Keanu Reeves 1/3rd Billionaire

If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right.

He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like a Kingly sum. Of course, if you’re a big fan of The Matrix Revolutions, you’re either imaginary or someone who hasn’t actually seen the film. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?

Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?

If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right. He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like a Kingly sum. Of course, if you’re a big fan of The Matrix Revolutions, you’re either imaginary or someone who hasn’t actually seen the film. Continue Reading

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