Author: Ryan McPherson
Ringo Star Sues the Beatles
New York, NY – Ringo Starr, best known as the Beatles drummer, is suing his former bandmates. The suit names as defendants, Paul McCartney, Yoko Ono, and the estate of the late John Lennon. Starr alleges breach of contract and…
Eric Clapton Expelled From Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Wake of Anti-Vax Remarks
Cleveland, Ohio – Eric Clapton has been expelled from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame after his recent anti-vax comments. The Hall announced the unprecedented move after the once-popular singer/guitarist said he wouldn’t perform concerts in venues that require…
Facebook Recalls Former Members
Facebook, now known as Meta, has begun recalling former members who deleted their accounts. “We felt it was in our best interests to bring them back,” said Facebook/Meta spokesman Tanner Long. “They need to be back in the fold.” “I…
Texas State Republican Lawmaker Behind Sting To Arrest ‘Liberal’ Rock Bands
Austin, Texas – Members of three rock bands were arrested last night in what the Austin Police Department called a “copyright sting.” The arrests took place in two Sixth Street bars. “They violated copyright laws, so we busted them,” said…
Mafia Recruiting New Members
Brooklyn, NY – The American Mafia is looking to recruit new members. The popular, long-running crime organization noted for murders, loan sharking, and generally beating the crap out of people, announced today on multiple social media platforms, a new push…
Noah’s Ark Discovered in Brooklyn Navy Yard
Noah’s Ark, missing for thousands of years, has been found, in what scientists are describing as the greatest archaeological discovery in human history. The legendary boat turned up in a long-abandoned Brooklyn Navy Yard building. Stunned archeologists confirmed the find…
Texas Republican Legislators Vote Themselves Out
Austin, Texas – In a stunning display of ineptitude, Republican members of the Texas state legislature voted themselves out of office. The unprecedented move left surprised Democrats in total charge of both legislative bodies. “Not sure how they did it,”…