Can Fish & Man Live in Peace?! George Bush Caught Up in Appalling Swimming Costume Drama…

In a comical oversight, Ex-President of the United States George Bush forgot to take his swimming costume with him at Washington’s renowned Sports & Leisure Village.

Bush told Glossy News:

I’m getting old and forgetful. Thankfully the pool attendant lent me a pair of swimming trunks. I said to the attendant, ‘Who else has worn these?’

He replied, ‘Everybody.’

‘Everybody?’ I said.

He said:

‘Yes, every scummy warts-infected,

sloppy breasted, sperm-sloshed, scabby unwashed,

crusty, musty wino with fleas and residue herpes,

every hairy assed and pubic lice-ridden, flaky skinned

and gonorrhoea-hidden, sweaty balled, syphilis and

piss-installed filthy toe rag and fornicating man slag

on the face of God’s not so green and fusty earth!’

‘I can’t wear those!’ I said.

‘Why not?’ replied the attendant.

‘Because there’s a picture of Donald Trump on the front of them…’

I said.

Author: Stephen Philip Druce

Stephen Philip Druce is a spoof/satire article writer from Shrewsbury in the UK. He has previous publications with The Lemon Press, News Mutiny, The Daily Squib, The Inconsequential, Web-E-Books (USA), The Druids Loom and Bad Scents Of Humour. For updates on Stephen’s humour articles, follow him on Twitter - @DruceStephen.