Posted in Environment

WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, or Possibly Just Eczema

DES MOINES, IOWA — It was reported earlier today that local farmer Henry Myopic “definitely [has] AIDS… or maybe eczema.” The 73-year-old Myopic, who regularly checks the WebMD website in an effort to pinpoint his assorted ailments, was able to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, or Possibly Just Eczema
Posted in Entertainment

The Biggest Boozer Tossed After Two Episodes

It’s official: the Biggest Boozer has been canceled. This whale puke of a summer replacement only made two pilot episodes before producers mercifully pulled the plug. “We know the contract says you get paid for 6 episodes. Just take the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Biggest Boozer Tossed After Two Episodes
Posted in Comics

Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)

It’s a question nearly as old as the one about the chicken. Why did the hipster cross the road? Surely it wasn’t to get a better deal on a pair of pre-worn, faded slacks. Surely it wasn’t because there was…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)
Posted in Science

NASA Locates 3 New Earth-like Planets That Could Theoretically Support Death

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA — The NASA Program recently announced that their scientists have located three new Earth-like planets, each of which could theoretically support death. According to NASA’s lead researcher Dr. Hans Von Gunn, “Using our Kepler satellite, we were…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NASA Locates 3 New Earth-like Planets That Could Theoretically Support Death
Posted in Religionism Strange People

Taliban Reveals Their Version of the Ten Commandments

It is not well known that the Islamic Religion also uses the Bible as a prophetic religious work. That means that they believe in the Ten Commandments as received by Moses from Jehovah. Unfortunately, as can be expected, the Taliban…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Taliban Reveals Their Version of the Ten Commandments
Posted in Politics Serious Commentary

Poll: Majority Concede Overt Racist Moseley Likely Right

ENGLAND – In the wake of Thursday’s vicious attack in London, a new poll finds that a majority of the British public now believe the fascist leader Oswald Moseley was right when he condemned liberal immigration policies in the 1950s….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Poll: Majority Concede Overt Racist Moseley Likely Right
Posted in Comics

Atheists Offer Their Own Sunday Service (comic)

The Christians seem to feel they have an exclusive on morality, though the stats don’t bear it out. Why don’t the atheists hold their own Sunday service to preach whatever it is they do or do not believe in… well,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Atheists Offer Their Own Sunday Service (comic)
Posted in Human Interest

Family Van Swallowed Up by Mysterious Quicksand near Daytona Beach

New Smyrna Beach, FL – Tragedy marked the beginning of Memorial Day weekend in New Smyrna Beach when late Saturday afternoon, a van belonging to an Indiana family of six suddenly disappeared into the sand leaving no trace. As onlookers…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Family Van Swallowed Up by Mysterious Quicksand near Daytona Beach
Posted in Sports

Extreme Sportsman Completes Successful Base-jump, Funeral to be Held Friday

LODI, CALIF – While base-jumping last week in a northern California ravine, Extreme Sportsman Felix Grainger’s parachute reportedly malfunctioned, sending the 28-year-old’s body crashing to the earth at an incredible rate of speed, whereupon he arrived at a gruesome, untimely…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Extreme Sportsman Completes Successful Base-jump, Funeral to be Held Friday
Posted in Society Strange People

How to Not Make Terrible Tattoo Designs

Tattoo art has been practiced from time immemorial, sometimes for good reasons, other times, well, Google it yourself to see what how the other half are left to live. People from different cultures have marked particular parts of their bodies…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! How to Not Make Terrible Tattoo Designs
Posted in Comics Internets Tubes

How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)

If a tree falls and blah blah blah whatever does it meh who cares? Age old question with no good answers. Let’s face it, all of them are wrong. But when the same question applies to a hipster, apparently there’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)
Posted in Health Politics

Report: Libertarianism Classified As Mental Disorder

In a development that is stirring nationwide anger, the American Psychological Association has released a report classifying Libertarianism as a mental disorder. Head researcher Paul Keynes discussed the organization’s findings, which were gleaned from a 10-year study that interviewed and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Report: Libertarianism Classified As Mental Disorder
Hate speech
Posted in Technology

Report: 10% of Facebook Users Unaware Others Can See Their Posts

PALO ALTO, CALIF — In a recent Pew Research Center study, a reported 10% of Facebook users are oblivious to the fact that other people can see what they write. The study alleges that of that 10% of naive morons,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Report: 10% of Facebook Users Unaware Others Can See Their Posts
Posted in Internets Tubes

Satire Editor Turns 39, Knows Not What to Do

Ten years ago Glossy News founder Brian White had the unlikely opportunity to turn 29, and I did it, but once and only once. Today he turns 39, and likewise, promises never to do it again. Just too painful. Back…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Satire Editor Turns 39, Knows Not What to Do
Posted in Comics Crime

Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)

We’ve all been there. We’ve all asked our co-worker for an ounce of advice, and in too many cases, the question is misunderstood. This comic speaks precisely to that. Click on the image to see it full-sized. Brian is on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)
Posted in War Zone

Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte

WASHINGTON — In a surprise move late last night, President Obama declared “Prima Nocte,” invoking the controversial 16th century feudal statute that allowed noblemen to “call dibs” on any newlywed bride during her first night of marriage. According to the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte
Posted in Religionism

Gay Muslim Arrested for “Loving Mohammed”

RIYADH – An openly gay Muslim has been arrested by religious police for professing his desire to “make love” with the prophet Mohammed. According to eyewitness reports, Omar al-Haard was accosted by thirty police officers after being caught in a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gay Muslim Arrested for “Loving Mohammed”
Posted in Top Stories

Arrested Development: Back and Awesome

Yesterday Netflix premiered the 7-year anticipated fourth season of Arrested Development, and there was much rejoicing. The entire central cast is back, and it would seem all the ancillary characters returned as well, including Liza Minnelli (who looks honestly hotter…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Arrested Development: Back and Awesome
Posted in Comics Religionism

Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)

This comic was inspired by an actual conversation my mother had with actual missionaries about three decades ago. She was feisty then, she’s still a pain in my ass now, but none of that means anything in comparison to the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)
Posted in Society Strange People

Hummer Totally on Guy’s Ass for, Like, the Last 2 Miles

CARMEL – According to reports from the driver’s side of a silver Buick Century, that damn Hummer has been on local man Jeff Foggerty’s ass for, like, at least the last 2 miles. Even though Foggerty is himself marginally over…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hummer Totally on Guy’s Ass for, Like, the Last 2 Miles