Month: May 2013
How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)
If a tree falls and blah blah blah whatever does it meh who cares? Age old question with no good answers. Let’s face it, all of them are wrong. But when the same question applies to a hipster, apparently there’s…
Report: Libertarianism Classified As Mental Disorder
In a development that is stirring nationwide anger, the American Psychological Association has released a report classifying Libertarianism as a mental disorder. Head researcher Paul Keynes discussed the organization’s findings, which were gleaned from a 10-year study that interviewed and…
Report: 10% of Facebook Users Unaware Others Can See Their Posts
PALO ALTO, CALIF — In a recent Pew Research Center study, a reported 10% of Facebook users are oblivious to the fact that other people can see what they write. The study alleges that of that 10% of naive morons,…
Satire Editor Turns 39, Knows Not What to Do
Ten years ago Glossy News founder Brian White had the unlikely opportunity to turn 29, and I did it, but once and only once. Today he turns 39, and likewise, promises never to do it again. Just too painful. Back…
Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)
We’ve all been there. We’ve all asked our co-worker for an ounce of advice, and in too many cases, the question is misunderstood. This comic speaks precisely to that. Click on the image to see it full-sized. Brian is on…
Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte
WASHINGTON — In a surprise move late last night, President Obama declared “Prima Nocte,” invoking the controversial 16th century feudal statute that allowed noblemen to “call dibs” on any newlywed bride during her first night of marriage. According to the…
Gay Muslim Arrested for “Loving Mohammed”
RIYADH – An openly gay Muslim has been arrested by religious police for professing his desire to “make love” with the prophet Mohammed. According to eyewitness reports, Omar al-Haard was accosted by thirty police officers after being caught in a…
Arrested Development: Back and Awesome
Yesterday Netflix premiered the 7-year anticipated fourth season of Arrested Development, and there was much rejoicing. The entire central cast is back, and it would seem all the ancillary characters returned as well, including Liza Minnelli (who looks honestly hotter…
Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)
This comic was inspired by an actual conversation my mother had with actual missionaries about three decades ago. She was feisty then, she’s still a pain in my ass now, but none of that means anything in comparison to the…
Hummer Totally on Guy’s Ass for, Like, the Last 2 Miles
CARMEL – According to reports from the driver’s side of a silver Buick Century, that damn Hummer has been on local man Jeff Foggerty’s ass for, like, at least the last 2 miles. Even though Foggerty is himself marginally over…